


In Another Life

by Tgaret990



Category: All Elite Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: ACTUAL TEACHING IN A TEACHER AU WOOOAAAHHH, AEW is just vibing and doing its thing, Adam is a Good Friend, Adam is an indie darling, Adam is never in Bullet club, Alternate Universe - Teachers, And how things go from there, And moving forward one step at a time, Being there for your friends, Blushy Embarrassed Oblivious Idiots, But I promise there's plenty of happiness in here!, But there's still wrestling involved, Canon Divergent from Wrestle Kingdom 13, Cody is... Cody, Domestic Fluff, Fanboying, Finding that friend who just understands you on another level, Finding your purpose again after losing it, Flashbacks, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, In which Kenny stays in New Japan when Cody and the Bucks leave to start AEW, Injury, Just a silly idea inspired by a friend, Kenny and Adam are so oblivious, Kota is a secret genius and I won't hear any differently, Kota is the best husband, M/M, Married Golden Lovers, One Winged Cowboys is platonic here!, Platonic and genuine kisses and I love you's between guy friends, Rated M for occasional GL smut because husbands :), Reflecting on a difficult past, School and city based on where Adam used to teach!, Slow Burn Friendship I guess is what I'm going for here, The Bucks are good friends, Training for a Comeback, Trigger Warning for Attempted Suicide and Self Harm, Trigger Warning for Mentions of Past Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27903694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tgaret990/pseuds/Tgaret990
Summary: In another life, maybe things could've turned out differently. But there he was, the Best Bout Machine, the legend that WAS Kenny Omega, teaching high school and married to the man of his dreams. Life was good. Of course it was. But as happy as he'd been... He felt like he'd lost his purpose in life. Adam Page, a friend who was almost too good to be true, helps him find it again.
Relationships: Ibushi Kota & Adam Page, Ibushi Kota/Kenny Omega, Kenny Omega/Adam Page, Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson & Kenny Omega, The Elite - Relationship
Comments: 65
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter One

Chapter One

A/N: Another fic, I know! A multi chaptered WIP at that! Bless you, Mega Ran, and your podcast, and thank you for that one interview with Kenny. Basically, in an AU where Kenny and Adam are both teachers at the same school and their wrestling careers aren’t quite how we know them. I’m sorry to say I can’t promise super quick updates on this one, but I at least wanted the idea out there. A “Kenny as a teacher” AU inspired by the lovely kennykuma, who I adore, and you should go read her fic if you haven’t. ;) I hope you enjoy!

*italicized dialogue=Japanese

  
  


_Tokyo, Japan_

_Wrestle Kingdom 14_

_Night 1_

Kenny lay on top of Kota as the bell sounded, Devil’s Sky echoing through the arena as the fans lost their minds. Kota was out cold from a One Winged Angel, and Red Shoes was trying to make sure he was alright before checking on Kenny as well. Kenny waved him and the title off, gently cupping Kota’s face in concern. Kota’s eyes slowly slid open at his touch, and Kenny let out a relieved breath, Kota smiling at him tiredly. Kenny moved his hands as Kota pulled his head down so they could hear each other.

_“Are you okay?”_ Kenny asked him. Kota laughed, wincing a little.

_“I’m okay. You won,”_ Kota told him. _“I’m so proud of you, Kenny-tan.”_ Kenny choked on a sob, pressing a lingering kiss to Kota’s bright red chest and rolling off of him, struggling to get up. 

He managed to sit up without too much trouble, a few Young Lions offering to help him to his feet. Kenny felt his legs wobble a bit from exhaustion, but he could stand. He let Red Shoes raise his hand as the crowd chanted his name, held the belt gently in his hands, still not quite believing he’d done it. He was champion again. But more importantly…

**_He’d finally beaten Kota._ **

After so many years of fighting to get here, so many times of coming close and falling short, so many promises of them main eventing the Tokyo Dome… He couldn’t stop the tears that ran down his face or his disbelieving smile, brought back to the moment by Kota putting a hand on his shoulder. Their eyes met, and Kota gestured for the belt. Kenny looked between both for a moment before handing it over. Tears came anew as Kota kissed him on the cheek before going behind him to put the IWGP Heavyweight Championship on him, Kenny furiously wiping away tears and turning to face Kota when he was finished.

_“Ibu…”_ Kenny smiled at him and Kota smiled back, letting out a startled laugh as Kenny practically dove into his arms, holding him tightly. _“Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for giving me a second chance. I love you. I love you so much!”_

_“I love you too! You know I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. Thank you for never giving up on me.”_

Kenny pulled back, both of them now grinning at each other as the crowd cheered for them. They looked around at all of the fans for a moment, just taking in the moment, the energy, the sights and sounds of everyone. Kenny threw Kota’s arm over his shoulders and helped him out of the ring, both of them a bit unsteady on their feet but keeping each other upright. He had an interview to do after this, didn’t he? He groaned as he realized going through the curtain, and Kota laughed, knowing exactly what was on his mind.

_“The interview?”_

_“Yep,”_ Kenny replied, sighing. _“I want a shower, and to be able to hold you and just… Be with you.”_ Kota snuggled into his side as best as he could from how they were walking.

_“We have time,”_ Kota told him. _“We have all the time in the world to be together.”_ Kenny smiled warmly, plopping a kiss into his hair as they approached the media, a staff member hurrying to grab another chair for Kota. Kenny sat them both down gingerly, letting out a huge breath as the questions began. Kota took his hand and squeezed it gently, and Kenny squeezed back with a smile.

XxX

_Virgilina, Virginia_

_One Year Later…_

Kenny grumbled as the alarm on his phone went off, reaching blindly for his nightstand until he could grab the offending piece of technology and turn it off. 5:30 A.M. There was a groggy grumble into the pillows beside him. He sighed, kicking the covers off and sitting up, attempting to rub the sleep out of his eyes. One would think he’d be used to it, being on the road for so many years and having to run on little to no sleep and caffeine to get through a busy day. He got up, splashed some water on his face, and headed downstairs, starting up the coffee maker and swiping his headphones off the counter. He turned them on and queued up a playlist on his phone before putting some tennis shoes on and heading out for his usual morning run. It was a bit brisk, being early January and all. As comfortable as his sweatpants were, maaaybe he should’ve grabbed a jacket too. Regardless, it was kind of nice, the quiet semi-darkness before the sunrise. It let him get lost in thought as his feet hit the pavement.

Had he packed everything last night? Was he going to have enough time to do the rest of his workout? Should he cut his run short so he could do some lifting and ring work? Or should he just save that for when he got home later? Should he have put a shirt on before he left the house? What should he wear for the day? Was he forgetting a meeting today? Why was he overthinking things??? Kenny shook his head, focusing on the Golden Lover’s theme as it started, a sad smile appearing on his face as it did. Hmm… A few minutes later he turned the corner at the end of the current road of houses instead of continuing on straight ahead, circling back around to his house, waving at a familiar face that watched him go by.

He was greeted by a fresh pot of coffee when he got home, and a friendly _meow!_ from his cat Dobby, who he petted affectionately as he grabbed a cup from by the sink. A cup of coffee, a plate of leftovers, and a shower later he was getting dressed for work. Wedding ring, jeans, tennis shoes, a turtleneck sweater, and a jacket ought to do it. He double checked his backpack, felt for his keys in his pocket, and grabbed his phone, pausing when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. Kenny leaned back into the embrace, eyes slipping shut, humming happily as Kota littered his neck with butterfly kisses.

_“You didn’t wake me up.”_

_“I didn’t want to. You had a rough match last night. I wanted you to rest.”_ Kota paused in his movements.

_“I don’t like waking up without you there,”_ Kota whispered sadly. _“Maybe I’m being a bit selfish…”_

_“Never!”_ Kenny assured him, turning around in his arms and gently cupping his face. _“Never, you hear me?”_ Kenny stole a quick kiss before Kota initiated a second, longer, deeper, gentler one. Kenny pressed his forehead softly to Kota’s as they pulled away to breathe, letting out a quiet breath. _“I promised I was never letting go of you again when we got married, remember?”_ Kota nodded, letting out a small laugh.

_“You would think I’d be used to it by now, having to be away from you for so long.”_ Kenny chuckled, pulling Kota close and hugging him tightly.

_“It’s been_ **_maybe_ ** _an hour and a half since I’ve been up,”_ he pointed out. He knew what Kota meant though: the years they’d spent apart while they were still in Japan. It made his heart ache a bit before he suddenly realized that he was fully dressed while Kota only had on a pair of boxers. He blushed, wishing he hadn’t been in such a rush to leave early. He pulled back slightly, meeting Kota’s eyes. _“Let me make it up to you? I don’t have to be there for a while.”_ Kota smiled warmly, gently tugging Kenny back towards the bed. Kenny kicked his shoes and socks off, unbuttoning his jeans and slipping out of them while stripping off his shirt. He found himself back in Kota’s arms and tangled up in the covers, both of them kissing each other like there was no tomorrow and rocking gently against each other.

_“Do you have time to…”_ Kenny nodded, panting, head tucked in the crook of Kota’s neck.

_“My first class isn’t until 8:30.”_ The clock on the wall read 7:00. The drive there was short anyway.

It wasn’t too long before Kenny was slowly thrusting into Kota, movements gentle, but deep. Kota moaned, legs wrapped around Kenny’s waist and blunt nails scratching down his back, cock hot and hard and trapped between them. Kenny nipped at his neck as Kota threw his head back, hips not stuttering even as Kota clenched unexpectedly around him.

_“_ **_Fuck_ ** _,”_ Kenny groaned, leaving a hickey in his wake as he bit down a bit too hard at that. His hands roamed Kota’s upper body: his sculpted muscles and smooth skin, the scars from matches long passed, the freckles that dotted his body in the most random, yet lovely of places. Chestnut brown eyes met ocean blue ones, nothing but love and joy and tenderness in them. Kota let out little sounds of pleasure at each thrust, rocking against Kenny in time to them, meeting them. Kenny let out gasps and moans, wanting to show Kota just how much he appreciated him as he leaned in to capture his lips. He felt Kota arch up against him as he found his spot, swallowing down his moans as his thrusts became a bit harder.

_“Ibu-tan,”_ Kenny moaned as he broke the kiss to breathe. Kota keened at a particularly sharp thrust, hands finding themselves in Kenny’s curls, gripping them tightly.

_“Harder,”_ he whispered, groaning at Kenny’s next thrust, eyes slipping shut again. Kenny did as asked, hips stuttering as he felt himself come close. He watched Kota, the way his back arched, the tugging at his hair, the grip around his waist, the clenching of his abs. Both of them were close. He felt the pleasure build, both of them moaning into a sloppy kiss, teeth clacking against each other in their haste. Kenny watched Kota throw his head back as he shot between them, hot cum painting both their stomachs, his body jerking beneath him. He felt himself follow as Kota clenched around him, moaning his name. _“ **Tyson** _ _…”_ Kenny came hard and slow, shouting Kota’s name, thrusting until both of them were overstimulated and shaking, falling still, forehead pressed against Kota’s again. He laughed at how his now sweaty hair stuck to their skin.

_“I just showered,”_ Kenny whispered.

_“Shower again with me?”_ Kota asked him quietly, kissing his cheek. Kenny nodded, swiping a few fingers through the cum on Kota’s chest and tasting it. Kota let out a quiet moan at that, Kenny licking at what he could reach before slowly pulling out and helping Kota up. Their shower was relaxed and slow, gentle touches, sweet nothings, and lingering kisses throughout before Kenny was dressed again and finally ready to go.

_“I’ll see you later,”_ Kenny told him, unable to resist another lingering, deep kiss at the back door as Kota cupped his face.

_“Have a good day,”_ Kota whispered against his lips. He grinned. _“Tell your students hi from me.”_ Kenny chuckled.

_“They adore you. They keep asking when I’m going to bring you with me one day.”_

_“Whenever you want!”_ Kota told him. He playfully pushed Kenny out the door. _“Go! Before you’re late.”_ Kenny grabbed one more kiss before he finally got into his car and got on the road.

The drive to the high school he’d started teaching at this year wasn’t too long, at least compared to some of the other drives he’d had to make in the past. Halifax County High School was the last place he thought he’d be today. Heck, **Virginia** was the last place he thought he’d be today—teaching at that!—but here he was at the start of the second semester of classes. It was crazy to imagine that it had been almost a year since Japan, since the life he’d always wanted had come crashing down before his eyes. Every day he missed it more and more, and every day an irrational fear inside of him grew more and more as well.

He was done with that life. It was the reason he’d accepted the first teaching job that had gotten back to him. It was the reason he’d dropped everything to move away from the constant reminders of something that, at the time, he never thought he’d have again. It was the reason that, since both of them had been IWGP Heavyweight champions and had done all they’d set out to do in New Japan, Kenny had proposed to Kota and asked him to move to America with him. It was the reason he could pursue his other passions and interests outside of wrestling for the first time in a long time: teaching, gaming, fitness. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Now wasn’t the time.

Kenny parked his car, taking a deep breath before grabbing his backpack and getting out. He locked the doors before making his way inside the building. The school housed maybe 1400 students, and while it wasn’t the newest or most modern, fancy building, it was well kept and welcoming. He sighed. Winter break felt like it had sped by in the blink of an eye. Being home, able to focus on just enjoying himself after planning out the next semester, being able to actually spend entire days with Kota while neither of them were working… A domestic life with his soulmate was something Kenny had only ever dreamed about. To actually have it, **live** it…

Smiling softly to himself, he didn’t notice the person in front of him until they quite literally bumped into each other. The man in question stumbled backwards, a pile of notebooks and papers falling from his arms. Kenny sputtered in embarrassment, scrambling down to pick everything up, apologizing profusely.

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t even paying attention! I’m such a klutz sometimes. Jeez, I’m sorry about this.” The other man chuckled at his reaction, making Kenny pause and look over at him. His neighbor he’d waved to earlier this morning was staring at him with the fondest, kindest smile, and Kenny’s mind blanked for a moment.

“It’s alright. I was going to reorganize everything later anyway,” he told him. He helped Kenny finish picking things up, tucking the pile under an arm when they were done with a thank you. “I don’t think we’ve ever actually… Talked before. You live down the street, right?” Kenny nodded, still blushing in embarrassment.

“Yeah. Um, Tyson Smith,” Kenny introduced himself, holding out his hand.

“Stephen Woltz. Call me Stevie,” Adam told him, shaking his hand.

He fell silent as his hand came to rest atop of Kenny’s. Was he wearing…? He brought the hand around to where he could see it better. “You’re married,” he realized. Kenny grinned, blushing up a storm.

“Ahhh. Yeah. Coming up on a year now, actually.” Adam smiled at how genuinely happy Kenny looked.

“That’s awesome, man. Congrats! She’s got to be one lucky woman.” Kenny blushed even further if that were possible, and now Adam was curious.

“Ah… I… I have a husband, actually.” Hus— _Husband?_ Adam’s eyes went wide, pleasantly surprised, and that’s when he realized he was still holding onto Kenny’s hand. He quickly let go with a shy apology, and Kenny gave him a soft smile. “It’s okay. Most people are surprised by it. Apparently I don’t really seem like the type.” Adam realized he may have seemed like a dick dropping Kenny’s hand like that earlier, backpedaling.

“I didn’t mean to sound—I meant—He’s one lucky guy to have you.” Kenny seemed to get what he was trying to convey, and it was his turn to laugh at Adam’s reaction.

“It’s okay. No harm done.” There was an awkward silence between them, both of them smiling shyly for a few moments before the first bell of the day rang, signaling for students to start heading for their first class. “I, um, I’d better go. First class and all,” Kenny told him.

“Same here. I, uh… Guess I’ll see you later then?” Adam asked. Kenny nodded and the two headed in opposite directions, Kenny to his ESL class and Adam to his Graphic Design class.

  
  


*ESL=English as a Second Language

Closing A/N: Uuugh, I know I’m messing with SO many nooj and AEW storylines. Like, all of them. It’s pretty unrealistic, I know. I was super terrified to post this tbh. There’s quite a bit of backstory that will be told by both of them and I promise some things will make a little more sense soon.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

A/N: Hello again! We get a little more insight into the end of Kenny and Kota’s time in Japan as well as a little bit more interaction between Adam and Kenny. Thank you to everyone who’s shown interest in this fic! It’s much appreciated! <3

  
  


_Tokyo, Japan_

_Wrestle Kingdom 14_

_Night 2_

Kenny didn’t remember when or how it happened. All he remembered was the excruciating pain he was in when his body hit the concrete outside, the way a white hot fire shot through his entire right arm, the way he screamed and cried out. He remembered Naito managing to get him back in the ring and on his feet, taking a little more offense before a second Destino kept him down for the three. Kenny stared up blankly at the ceiling of the Tokyo Dome, vision swimming in and out. He briefly registered Kota hovering in a panic over him, calling his name before he blacked out.

The next time he woke up he was in a hospital, Kota running to his side when he groaned in pain. He and a doctor had been talking in hushed whispers for a few minutes, discussing the extent of Kenny’s injuries. Kenny took one look at Kota’s expression and knew he wouldn’t be receiving good news.

_“Go ahead and tell me,”_ Kenny whispered. Kota hesitated before explaining.

_“The doctor said you tore the labrum in your right shoulder completely. You’ll need surgery to repair it, and you’ll be out three to six months for that. There’s also a stress fracture in your knee, a slight tear in your ACL, bruised ribs…”_ Kota winced guiltily as he gently traced the ugly purples and greens that littered Kenny’s upper body from their match the day before. Kenny took his hand reassuringly, giving him a pained smile. _“Your body has been through so much wear and tear and stress. Even if surgery goes well for everything, they recommend you take extra time off, just to be safe.”_ Kota wasn’t looking at him then, and Kenny knew he wasn’t telling him something.

_“What else, Ibu-tan?”_ Kota didn’t respond, and Kenny sighed, throwing his hands up. Or… At least trying to. He felt a sharp sting of panic as he saw only his left arm raised off the bed. His right arm did little more than twitch in response. Kota slowly lowered his left arm back to the bed. _“I… I can’t feel it…”_

_“Doctors are worried that when you injured your shoulder you might have sustained some nerve damage as well. They’re hoping it’s just a stinger, but it’s too soon to tell. Either way… A wrong move could destroy the nerves completely, and you’d lose feeling for good. They… They’re saying this might be it.”_

**_They’re saying this might be it._ **

Kenny didn’t hear much after that, the thought echoing in his mind and striking terror into his heart. Wrestling was his life, his purpose. It meant the world to him. And… This was it? This was how he went out? Surgery might take him out for half a year, but there was still a chance he might accidentally tweak his arm and fuck it up for good? He… Kota squeezed his hand, his other hand brushing a sweaty curl out of his eyes. Kenny looked to him hopelessly, and Kota leaned his forehead against Kenny’s.

_“I wish I could do something. I’m sorry.”_

The next few weeks would be Hell on Earth for Kenny. Surgery had apparently gone well, and he started rehab for all of his injuries. Those days were slow and painful, but everything was going well as far as he was aware. A dark cloud constantly hung over his head though, raining down thoughts of despair, fear, hopelessness, and emptiness. A life without wrestling… His life **was** wrestling. And of course he had other interests, other passions. But nothing… Nothing could ever compare or come close to wrestling.

There were many days when just getting out of bed took all of his willpower and effort. Others, just trying to do the simple things that made his day normal were a struggle. On those days, and every day, Kota was there. He was there with a reassuring smile, a soft kiss, a gentle hug, an ear to listen. Kota was the one thing in his life at that point in time that was keeping him going. Kenny always tried to take the time to tell Kota how grateful he was to have him in his life, and Kota, as always, told him that there was no one else he’d rather be with, struggles, bad days, and all.

When it was late February and both their contracts were up, Kenny finally opened up to Kota about everything: where his mind had been, how he was feeling, what he wanted to do next now that this part of his life was over. They sat together in the middle of their bed in Kota’s apartment. Kota listened attentively, frowning in concern when Kenny paused, unsure about something.

_“Kenny-tan?”_ Kenny swallowed, meeting Kota’s eyes.

_“I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a little while. I just.. Didn’t know how. Japan is your home, and I would never ask you to leave it behind… But every time I walk outside, every time I leave the house or pass by a familiar shop or street, I just… Can’t. Everything feels like it’s taunting me about what I can never have again. So much of my career happened here, and whenever things get like that I can hardly stand it! I can’t live like this. I can’t ask you to deal with me when I get like that, and I won’t put you through that.”_

_“Kenny, I don’t mind. I understand—_

_“I_ **_know_ ** _, Ibu. I know you understand. But I can’t ask you to waste your time on me.”_ Kenny sighed. _“I was thinking… About moving to America. Just to… Get away, start fresh, start over.”_

_“What would you do instead of wrestle?”_

_“I was getting a teaching degree before I committed to wrestling. I have enough in the way of credentials to put an application out there. And knowing Japanese as well as English gives me a better chance at maybe getting a job that way. And I know it doesn’t pay much, but I can do gaming and fitness things on the side too.”_ Kota looked at him, shaking his head with a fond smile.

_“You know I’m coming with you, right?”_ Kenny froze in shock at that statement before sputtering out a response.

_“Wha—Ibu-tan, no! I can’t—I would never ask you to throw your life away for me!”_ Kenny just stared as Kota laughed at him, a beautiful, loud, jovial laugh that made Kenny’s heart melt.

_“If being there for the love of my life and supporting him however I can is throwing my life away, I’ll gladly throw it away as many times as it takes. You…”_ Kota smiled sadly. _“You had the chance to leave with your friends and start a new wrestling company. You could have left me and gone on to do so much in America. But you stayed. You chose me instead. How could I not choose you too, after everything?”_ Kenny laughed in embarrassment, wiping at the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Kota cupped his face, thumbing the tears away gently, his voice soft now. _“Whatever you need from me, whatever you want me to do, just tell me.”_ Their eyes met, and Kenny briefly bit his bottom lip before reaching underneath his pillow. He pulled out a small box. A ring box, Kota realized, his eyes going wide as Kenny laughed nervously again.

_“I’ve been holding onto this for a while. I never knew when the right time was to ask, if there ever would be one. Japan isn’t really one for gay marriage after all. I thought, after all of this, you might decide to leave me, and I wouldn’t have blamed you. Are… Are you sure you want to come with me?”_

_“It never feels like we have enough time, whenever we come back together. After Wrestle Kingdom I told you we have all the time in the world together now, and I meant it. Wherever you decide to go, I want to go with you.”_

Kenny really let it sink in, that Kota would drop everything and move halfway across the world just to be with him, as broken and useless as he was now. He would move to a place he didn’t know, where he didn’t really speak the language or know anyone, to start a life with Kenny, putting his career at stake in the process. He had so much to lose, and yet… Kenny had never seen Kota look and sound more serious in his life. He smiled in tearful disbelief, too many emotions to name swelling up inside of him. He opened the box and Kota’s eyes went wide as Kenny held his gaze.

_“Ibushi Kota, will you—_

Kota gently crashed into him, stealing his breath away in the sweetest, most passionate kiss he’d ever felt, crying now himself. They broke apart to breathe, Kota practically pinning Kenny down onto the bed with the biggest, softest smile in the world. They laughed at each other.

_“Yes. Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”_

XxX

“You’ve been smiling an awful lot since this morning,” Adam told Kenny as they sat together at Adam’s desk.

Pieces of graphic artwork, how-to technique diagrams, and a few punny instructional posters, as well as articles and excerpts, covered the walls in Adam’s classroom. There was also an ROH poster hanging on Adam’s desk that made Kenny grin like a fool when he saw it. They’d decided to have lunch together after their encounter that morning. Kenny’s last class, Japanese, didn’t meet until last period (around two), and Adam’s last class, Journalism, had just gotten out (at eleven thirty), so he was done with classes for the day.

Kenny blushed, putting his phone down and laughing softly in embarrassment as he replied, “Aaahhh, my husband helps me with my classes sometimes. Usually I would be grading during lunch and he would double check everything for me while we Skype.” Kenny smiled, gentle and loving. “I have ESL in the mornings, all Japanese exchange students. They **adore** him. He sent me a text right before class with a message for them that was the sweetest thing…”

Adam observed Kenny’s smile, how soft and warm and genuine it was, the love in his voice, the way his laugh seemed to brighten up the room. He couldn’t help smiling himself.

“He sounds like a great guy,” Adam told him, and Kenny smiled wider if that were possible.

“The love of my life. I don’t know where I’d be without him.” Kenny sighed happily before blushing, looking away. “Sorry. I don’t mean to… Go on and on…” Adam laughed at how embarrassed Kenny seemed, even if he felt an old sting of hurt in his gut.

“Hey, man, you’re good. I promise.” He took a bite out of the burger he’d brought with him, frowning in confusion as a question came to mind. He swallowed, washing it down with a swig of water before asking it. “So, since you teach ESL and Japanese, did you and your husband move here from Japan?” Adam internally winced at the way Kenny’s body language became stiff, the smile on his face tight now, strained.

“Yeah. We did,” he answered evenly, surprised that his voice wasn’t shaking when he thought about it. He saw the panicked look in Adam’s eyes, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s… Hard to talk about. I **don’t** talk about it, to be honest. A little over a year ago… A lot happened, and… There’s a lot of... I…” Adam watched Kenny struggle to put words together, shaken to his core, gaze becoming more and more distant with each attempt. He reached out a hand, gently laying it on Kenny’s right shoulder. Kenny flinched, and Adam immediately took his hand back in concern.

“Shit! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to… Bring back bad memories. I’ve… Actually got quite a few myself from this time last year.” Kenny shook his head, blinking furiously at the images that had come to mind just a moment ago. When they were gone he looked back at Adam.

“No, it’s okay. I… I’m sorry this isn’t the best time of year for you either.” He looked down at the bento box that Kota had, at some point last night or that morning, prepared for him. When Kota would find time to cook between traveling and sleeping the day away he’d never know. He poked at the rice for a moment, an awkward silence settling between the two of them, before clearing his throat. “So… Have you worked here long?” Adam nodded.

“I worked here for five years the first time they hired me. Ended up leaving when I got a, um… A better work opportunity.” He’d had to think about how to phrase that, but Kenny didn’t seem to notice his hesitation, and if he did he didn’t show it. “Life was great for a few years after that. It was like I’d finally found my calling. As exhausting as it could get sometimes, I loved waking up every day knowing what I had to do later on. Work was the most creatively fulfilled it had ever been, and it was a blast every week…” Kenny listened to how animated Adam had become, the way his eyes crinkled as he smiled, how a little more of his accent slipped out, before it hit him.

“Was?” he asked. Adam, paused, but nodded.

“Yeah. Um… About a year ago, I tore my quad. I was working a lot that week, taking care of the horses and things when I got home, not really resting. I pushed myself a little too hard, had to take it easy for a while. The school, after I’d healed up and everything, put out that they needed a few new teachers. What I used to teach happened to be one of the spots they needed filled, so when I contacted them about it they were thrilled. Asked if I could start again this school year.” He wiped some ketchup from his face. “Since I got hurt, I couldn’t do my dream job as often as I’d like, and that didn’t really make a stable living like teaching did. And even though teaching doesn’t pay much, it’s something.” Kenny was quiet for a few moments after that, seemingly lost in thought.

“But you’re all healed up now, right? No lingering injuries or anything?”

“Um… Yeah. I’m good to go. I wanted to finish out the school year before getting back into it fully though, rest a little longer just to be sure.” Kenny nodded, that sad smile back again. Adam decided he hated the way Kenny looked when he smiled like that, like he was longing for something he just couldn’t have. It made his heart hurt, and he barely knew the man.

“I hope everything goes well when you can get back to it.” It was said sadly, but genuinely.

“Thanks, man.”

They both looked up at the half cracked classroom door as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, the thundering of students’ footsteps echoing in the halls, familiar and unfamiliar faces passing by. Kenny finished up the last of his food, turning back to Adam with a grateful smile.

“Thanks for, um… Letting me eat with you. I don’t really… Know anyone around here, and… I know it’s not really much, but… I appreciate it.” Adam smiled.

“It’s no problem. And same here, actually. In small towns you tend to know everyone’s name and face. But when you keep to yourself you don’t really… **Know** anyone, you know?” Kenny nodded. “You’re free to drop by whenever. It’s been nice.”

Part of Adam wanted to ask him to stay. For as long as he’d lived in the area he didn’t really have any friends close by. Even when he made an effort to try and talk to people, he’d never really clicked with anyone. But with Kenny… There was something different about him. He made him feel comfortable when he talked to him. It felt natural to be around him, even if they were very much still getting to know each other. And there was something about that look in his eyes, the sad gaze he had when he didn’t think anyone would notice. Adam knew that look. Saw it in the mirror every day. It was like he wasn’t complete. Like something huge was missing from his life. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part.

But Kenny seemed to sense his hesitancy, relaxing back into the chair. Their eyes met, and both men searched for something to explain the strange sense of understanding between them. Kenny was the one to break the silence, and he gave Adam a sad half-smile.

“You lost something important to you too.” A statement, not a question. Spoken softly, gently. Adam nodded after a moment.

“Yeah. I did.” Kenny understood the raw hurt and regret in Adam’s voice, the way his body gave the clear indication of _I don’t want to talk about, think about, or remember any of this right now. Please, brain, just leave me alone and let me_ **_try_ ** _to live my life and move on._ Adam, though, clearly had a better handle on it than he did, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, saying to him, “But that was then. And as much as it hurts to think about, I can’t do anything about it. Life moves on, and so should I, right?” Kenny laughed softly, nodding. It sounded so easy when he put it like that.

“If it’s okay with you… Can lunch… Be a thing?” Kenny immediately laughed at himself, looking away. Smooth, Kenny. Adam laughed with him, fondly.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” Kenny grinned in surprise, letting out a sigh of relief before suddenly hopping to his feet, eyes shining with an idea.

“I’ll be right back. Let me get my laptop.” Adam, bewildered but also happy, watched him rush out the door, heading down the hall.

Tyson Smith was a strange man. But one he hoped he’d be able to call a friend.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

A/N: This one is a little Golden Lovers heavy to start, but Adam and Kenny have an important talk once we get to them. Thank you again to everyone who’s read, and everyone who’s commented and left kudos!

  
  


_ Kagoshima, Japan _

_ The Last Day _

_ Late April _

Kota hummed happily at the kiss Kenny plopped in his hair late that morning. He was still buried under the covers of his bed in his childhood home, Kenny sitting on the edge of it beside him with a soft smile. Kota slowly opened his eyes, letting out a soft,  _ “Oh.” _ at what he saw. Kenny was wearing a beautiful light blue kimono patterned with floral and feather designs, silky smooth to the touch, with accents of pink and cream and white. Kenny’s eyes popped stunningly in the morning light, and Kota was left speechless as he slowly sat up, cupping Kenny’s face for a gentle, lingering, loving kiss.

_ “You’re breathtaking,” _ Kota whispered to him as he pulled back just enough to speak.

_ “ _ **_You’re_ ** _ breathtaking,” _ Kenny replied with a giggle, knowing Kota wouldn’t get the reference. Kota laughed softly, brushing his lips against Kenny’s teasingly, letting out a shaky breath.

_ “Are you going to wear that on the plane?” _ Kota joked, and Kenny hummed thoughtfully, nipping at Kota’s bottom lip playfully.

_ “Do you want me to?” _ Kota shoved him away with a fond chuckle, Kenny joining in.

_ “I don’t think wearing a wedding kimono on a long flight is a good idea,” _ Kota told him. He stretched, arching his back, feeling and hearing several things pop, groaning as he stood up.

_ “True.” _ Kenny wrapped his arms around Kota when he was within reach, happier than he’d been in a long time.  _ “I’m really glad your parents let us stay here after we shipped everything to the States.” _

_ “They love you. The hard part is going to be getting them to let us leave!” _ He pulled back to untie the front of the kimono, a hand gently laying on Kenny’s chest, muscle softened from time away from training and working out. Kenny watched Kota’s hand move to lay over his heart, a comforting warmth spreading through him he couldn’t quite explain.

_ “Ahhh! ‘Just one more story! Have another bowl of this! Tell us more about our son’s crazy adventures.’ They drive a hard bargain!” _ Kenny rested a hand on top of Kota’s.  _ “I’m glad everyone could make it to the wedding last month. I was a little afraid your family might not like that we…” _

_ “They started planning as soon as you asked my parents if you could propose,” _ Kota reminded him.  _ “They had to change a few things around since we’re not a traditional couple, so it took some time before the layout of the whole ceremony was finished.” _

_ “It was more Western than I thought it would be!” _

_ “They wanted to take you and your loved ones into account as well. I’m glad. There are a lot of traditions that we didn’t have to do.” _ They helped each other get dressed in clothes to travel in, double checking suitcases and travel bags. Kota lingered by the window of his room, looking out at his hometown with an already wistful expression. Kenny stopped in the doorway, observing him.  _ “We’ll come back one day… Won’t we?” _ Kenny let go of his suitcase, backpack hanging from his shoulders. He went over and hugged Kota from behind, head on his shoulder.

_ “Whenever you want,” _ he told him. Kota nodded, closing his eyes and leaning back against Kenny, taking in the moment and letting it sink in that he wouldn’t be back in Japan for a little while.

_ “I almost miss it already and we haven’t even left yet.” _ They both smiled at that.  _ “I’m excited. I can’t wait to see what’s next for us… But I hate flying.” _ Kenny chuckled, kissing him on the cheek and pulling back, Kota moving with him as he gathered all his stuff up again.

_ “I promise you won’t have to even think about planes once we land and get home.” _ Home.  **_Their_ ** home.

They said lengthy goodbyes to Kota’s parents once they were downstairs, on the road and at the airport before they knew it. The flight was long, but thankfully free of any disastrously long layovers. Matt and Nick were waiting for them when they arrived, the four of them embracing in the middle of a crowd without a care in the world.

“We’ve missed you so much,” Nick told them, him and Matt indescribably happy to see them.

“You just saw us last month!” Kenny replied.

“I know, but you and Ibushi were busy kissing and making heart eyes at each other all the time. We only got  _ maybe _ the one day before then,” Matt reminded him as they all started heading towards the rental car. Kenny blushed.

“Well, you promised you’d help us unpack today, so we’ve got all of today and however long you’re around before you have to head out for the show, right? We’ll  _ try _ to keep the making out to a minimum.”

“In other words, _ we’re going to be super lovey-dovey with each other no matter how hard we try not to be.” _ Nick said it teasingly, putting their things in the back before hopping in the driver’s seat, everyone filing into the car. “We know how you two are. Oh, and how did the job interview go? For the high school down the road, right? What was it called?”

“Halifax County High School,” Kenny answered. “And, uh… They asked me on the spot if I could start working this year. I’ve still gotta finalize lesson plans and what the year’s going to look like. And then I have to drop by this week and meet everyone. Then Ibu-tan’s meeting with a promoter about shows, and I said I’d help translate…”

_ “Breathe, Tyson,” _ Kota reminded him, and Kenny averted his eyes, grinning like a fool. There was something about Kota calling him by his name that made his heart happy beyond words, even if Kenny-tan, which would always hold a special place in his heart, was what he was used to hearing. The Bucks gave each other a look at that, mischievous smiles on their faces after learning that information as they got on the road. It would be about twenty minutes before they got to the house.

“Oh! Before I forget, what are your last names now?” Matt asked. “Dana’s planning something and she wanted to know.”

“Oh, you guys, no! You don’t have to do that.”

“We want to welcome the married couple properly!” Nick protested. “Did you think the two of you could just show up without any sort of celebration happening? Come on. You know us better than that.”

“A lot of the guys wanna come say hi. We were actually kind of hoping you and Ibushi could come to a Dynamite after you settle in, see what over two years worth of hard work ended up building.” Kenny smirked at Matt.

“Ibushi-Smith. And there are easier ways to say that you really want to sign him to a contract,” Kenny pointed out.

“True. But we’re serious! Before the school year starts, come hang out with us one night. See how EVPing works too.” Matt raised an encouraging eyebrow at Kenny, who shook his head with a smile.

“I can’t be an EVP if I have classes during the week. Besides, wouldn’t that mess up your whole structure?”

“You bring so much creativity and outside the box thinking, man. No one’s brain works like yours, and you have the greatest eye for detail any of us has ever seen. You’d fit in just fine, and Tony and Cody are all for it. The company was originally supposed to be the four of us as EVPs for a reason.”

_ “Would you ever want to be an EVP?” _ Kota asked him, and Kenny had to think about it for a few moments.

_ “Sure. It’d be nice to be able to learn the business side of things, contribute a bit more to what goes on behind the scenes, be a part of the company in a bigger way in that sense. I don’t doubt it would be stressful and time consuming, but with everything that comes with the position I think it’d be worth it.” _ Kota hummed thoughtfully, he and Kenny getting lost in conversation. Matt and Nick smiled at each other.

“There they go again,” Nick remarked fondly, quietly. “I really am glad to see him smiling again. When we’ve called and FaceTimed…”

“He had me scared for a while,” Matt agreed. “But I think this is good for him. Was it… Was it too soon to bring that sort of thing up?” Nick glanced in the rearview mirror, saw Kenny make the most ridiculous face, chuckling softly.

“I don’t think so. We didn’t ask him to wrestle or anything. He’s not cleared anyway.”

“But after he is…?” They’d both been very optimistic regarding Kenny’s injury, praying for good news after each check-up. So far that’s all they’d gotten, and hopefully that wouldn’t change.

“You think he’ll be up for it? He was so devastated when they told him he might be out for good. Even if he can come back, do you think he’ll want to?” Matt sighed, looking out the window.

“No clue. If he doesn’t want to, as long as he’s happy, so am I.” Nick smiled, nodding in agreement. “Mmm. Do you think they’ll like the house once we get there?”

“They know what it looks like. They okayed it, remember?”

“I know that. But seeing pictures and videos and actually walking around and looking are two different things!”

“They loved it then and they’ll love it even more now that we’re here.” They pulled up in the driveway of Kenny and Kota’s new house, and judging by the wide eyes and excited smiles Matt was right.

XxX

It was late Thursday evening when Kota walked through the front door, grinning from ear to ear as Kenny hopped up from his place on the living room couch, barreling into him with an overjoyed hug and a soft, sweet, yearning kiss. One of the things that made long travel nights worth it was being able to be greeted like this when he got home.

_ “Mmm, I saw you win on Wednesday,” _ Kenny told him giddily.  _ “And you really enjoyed getting to scare Cody a little in that end segment, didn’t you? Admit it!” _

_ “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” _ Kota responded with a smirk, grabbing another lingering kiss before dragging his suitcase inside. He set it by the door, chuckling as Kenny headed off to the kitchen, shouting after him, looking through the fridge.

_ “What are you in the mood for? I made stir fry, and there might still be steak from a few nights ago. I threw a new smoothie together earlier…” _ The fridge door swung shut as Kenny melted with a soft mewl, Kota kissing at his neck from behind, hands loosely resting on his hips, chest to Kenny’s back.

_ “You have been chatty and energized all week,” _ Kota whispered.  _ “I’m happy. I haven’t seen you like this in a long time.” _ Kenny blushed, laughing nervously.

_ “Having a friend helps take your mind off things, I guess.” _ Kota pulled away, chuckling at the whine Kenny gave him.

_ “I’m glad you made a friend. I know you were worried about that when we first got here.” _ Kenny nodded, leaning against a kitchen counter while Kota hopped up on the kitchen island.

_ “I don’t go out much, and there’s nothing really to go do unless I want to go into the bigger city.” _ He laughed shortly.  _ “That it ended up being a neighbor is even crazier.” _

_ “A neighbor?” _ Kota didn’t go out much when he was home either.

_ “Yeah. Stevie Woltz. He’s right down the street and around the corner.” _ Kenny’s smile softened then.  _ “He seems like a really great guy. He’s sweet. He’s funny. He’s smart. Also,  _ **_hot_ ** _.” _ Kota’s laugh echoed around the house at that.

_ “Should I be jealous?” _ he joked, and Kenny rolled his eyes, unable to stop smiling.

_ “I’m really glad you’re not the jealous type.” _ He looked down at his wedding ring, heart skipping a beat and a serene expression taking over his face before he looked back to Kota.  _ “No. He’s been nothing but kind and open. Honest. And as different as we are, we understand each other where it counts.” _

Kota observed the fondness in Kenny’s voice, the smile in his eyes, how relaxed he seemed. As much as he tried to be there for Kenny however he could there was only so much he could do as one person and as a husband. He owed this friend a huge thank you when they finally met.

_ “Hmm, do you have any assignments to grade tonight?” _

_ “No. I will tomorrow, though. And I’ll have to sit down and tweak my lesson plans for next week. They’re all learning a little faster than I thought they would. Which is great! But I might run out of new material at this rate.” _

_ “You can just pick my brain, remember?” _ The kitchen erupted into laughter, Kenny’s laugh infectious, bubbly, and unbelievably happy.

_ “That’s dangerous. Remember what happened the last time I asked you for ideas?” _

_ “But the house didn’t burn down!” _ Kota defended. Kenny shook his head.

_ “This is why I don’t buy you fireworks anymore.” _

XxX

“You… Look extremely happy,” Adam commented as he and Kenny walked through the halls after school the next day. There was a faculty meeting that day, but they were whiling away time before then, Adam showing Kenny around the school a bit more. Kenny laughed softly.

“It’s been a really great week, as strange as it is to say it. I haven’t smiled and laughed this much in… God,  **ages** .” Adam grinned.

“I’m glad to hear it. It’s been a pretty decent week for me too. You guys have anything going on over the weekend?” Kenny shook his head.

“No, he’s working tomorrow, so we’re just going to spend the day together on Sunday. And I have to redo my lesson plans and assignments for next week.”

“Did class go that bad?”

“It went that  **good,** ” Kenny told him. “They’re bright, even the ones that struggle more often than not. They’re all so gifted in their own ways. I never knew I’d love teaching this much.” Adam smiled. It made him happy to see Kenny so content and happy.

“How did you manage to miss out on the few smart asses I have to put up with every day?” Kenny laughed at that. “Don’t get me wrong, they’re good kids. Just have a mouth on them sometimes. Being more of a laid back teacher gives some of them ideas, I guess.”

“I heard all of your kids got good grades last semester though. Do they give you problems?”

“No, they just goof off  _ a lot. _ And there’s nothing wrong with that! But in the middle of when I’m explaining a new unit?” Kenny hummed in amusement.

“My ESL kids try to distract me a lot. They’ll try to get me to talk about how it was for me living in Japan, the sort of reverse of their situation, in a way. Sometimes they’ll get something out of me. It’s hard not to answer when they’re so genuinely curious.” His smile hadn’t descended into sad smile levels yet, but it was getting there.

“I… I know it’s not my business. I probably shouldn’t even be asking…” Adam stared at the tile floor of the hallways while Kenny looked to him with an unreadable expression in his eyes. “I don’t mean to pry, because I know you’ve said you don’t like talking about it.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kenny replied, and dammit, there was that sad smile that Adam had tried to avoid causing. “I need to talk about it at some point. I can’t avoid it forever. Life moves on and so should we, right?” Adam stopped them at the end of the hallway, leaning against the wall and watching Kenny, who sighed and nervously ran a hand through his dark curls. “It… It was… A year ago. Last Sunday…” Kenny stared hard at the ground, hands clenched into fists, a haunted look in his eyes. Adam immediately felt guilty. Why couldn’t he have kept his mouth shut earlier?

“Tyson, you don’t have to—

“It was a year ago last Sunday when it happened,” Kenny rushed out, taking in and letting out a huge breath afterwards. He swallowed, looking to Adam and holding his gaze. “January fifth of last year was one of the biggest moments of my life. I felt like nothing could stop me.” He started pacing a little, trying to burn off some nervous, anxious energy. “It was a tough night, but things looked like they were going to go my way… And then I got hurt. Badly.” Adam watched Kenny hold his right shoulder. “I didn’t remember much after, just waking up in the hospital. My husband was there. He’d been talking to the doctor.” Kenny squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to take a deep breath and keep his voice steady. “They told me I’d need surgery, for my shoulder and my ACL. I had other nagging injuries too. And…” He threw his left arm up with a bitter laugh, mimicking that night. “Said I might have nerve damage in my right arm. They told me that even after recovery my career was over. That was it.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry.”

“That was my dream job. It was my life. It was everything. It’s the reason I have so many wonderful, amazing people I can call family outside of work. It helped me touch so many people’s lives, hopefully in a good way. When I went out… I lost hope. I couldn’t even get out of bed some days. I didn’t have anything left except him.” Kenny stopped, collapsing against the wall, suddenly bone tired. “I wanted to move, to get away from all the reminders, clear my head, start over.”

“Get married, build a new life, find a new happiness.” Kenny nodded.

“Yeah. I actually need to stop by the doctor’s soon, do one more check up to make sure everything’s okay.” He sighed. “Then get back to it.” There was a minute of silence between them while they both tried to gather their thoughts.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think it’s really cool, the life you’ve built for yourself here.”  _ Cool? Seriously? _ Kenny laughed softly, his smile genuine.

“Why cool?” Adam briefly panicked, at a loss for words before he just started talking.

“It’s just cool that after going through all that you’ve been able to find something new and worthwhile. You’re helping out the kids here and making a difference, and you’re working towards being happier. You’re smiling. You’re thriving. You’re married. What’s not to love?”

“I… I’ve never looked at it that way,” Kenny admitted. “I guess the only thing that’s missing is… My purpose. My dream job gave me that, helped me find it. And as much as I love teaching… It can’t give me that back.” His purpose…

_ A purpose, huh? _

Once, Adam thought he’d found his. Back then life felt like it was complete, like everything made sense. After everything that happened, he’d realized he’d never really found it in the first place, and he had no idea how to go about truly finding it. He had his dream job, something that gave his life meaning, a life he could be proud of… But no one to share it with, no one to help him see things in a new light or show him the importance of living. Kenny had that someone, someone who made life worth living and reminded him of all the good despite the bad, who understood. But his dream was forever out of reach now. He’d gotten a taste of it, only for it to be ripped away from him when things were the best they could be.

They really did understand each other in a funny way, didn’t they?

“Well, let me ask you this. Are you trying to rediscover your purpose, or are you looking for a new one?” Kenny thought on it for a few moments.

“Every time I thought about finding a new one, it just didn’t sit right with me. When I had my purpose I felt… Whole. Fulfilled. Like I was making the difference that I wanted to on the scale that I wanted to. I want to get back there again, even if it looks impossible right now.” That was something Adam could get behind.

“Then you’ll get there again someday. I can hear it in your voice how much that means to you. As long as you have that, I don’t think there’s anything that can stop you.” Kenny grinned bashfully.

“I… Heheh. Thanks, man. And, I guess… Thanks for listening to me have a breakdown?” They both laughed. “Really. I mean it. I needed that.”

“It’s nothing. Buy me a drink and you can talk my ear off all night.” Kenny beamed.

“I don’t drink… But does Diet Coke work for you?”

“Works perfect. Actually…” Adam pulled out his phone, bringing up contacts and holding it out to him. “Text me. Anytime you want to talk. Or drop by the house, I guess.” Kenny pulled out his phone as well, handing it to Adam, and taking his phone in turn.

“I’ll take you up on that.” They exchanged numbers before Adam checked the time, eyes going wide.

_ “Ah, _ right. So, the meeting’s in about two minutes,  _ aaall _ the way across the building. How fast can you run?” Kenny glanced down at Adam’s boots with a raised eyebrow.

“I should be asking you that, cowboy. Race you?” Adam grinned at the challenge.

“You’re on.”

They were out of breath and laughing hysterically when they got to the library, race ending in a tie… But they made it to the meeting on time.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

A/N: Hello. :) Have a nice Adam-centric chapter with a bit of backstory on everyone’s favorite, beloved cowboy. I can’t promise it’ll be happy, unfortunately. A lot of his story isn’t, but it’s not all bad either. And Kenny gets to be there for him this time. <3

Trigger warning for a brief, blink and you’ll miss it, mention of past suicidal thoughts.

  
  


_ Las Vegas, Nevada _

**_The_ ** _ Day _

_ ROH 16th Anniversary Show _

Adam could still remember the very first time he stepped in a wrestling ring in front of a crowd. A skinny, inexperienced seventeen year old in tight, short trunks and a baseball cap with no clue that he would one day become one of the most beloved wrestlers on the independent circuit, in professional wrestling itself. He’d been at this for over ten years, and the moment that bell rang and his music hit after the main event tonight would forever be etched in his memory. The electricity in the air, the  **explosion** of cheering when his music hit, the total shock and awe that jolted through his body when Dalton Castle’s shoulders stayed on the mat after the Buckshot Lariat…

Ten. Years. Ten years he’d waited for this moment. Ten years he’d been striving to finally win a world title and prove that he was worthy of the support and adulation his fans had continued to give him. And now he’d finally done it. The longest ultimate underdog story in ROH history—seven years of scratching, clawing, enduring endless betrayal and failure when the top was  _ fingertips _ away—had finally reached its climax.

_ “Here is your winner, and the  _ **_NEEEEEW_ ** _ ROH World Champion… “Hangman”! Adam! Page!” _

Adam laughed in disbelief, glad that the sweat dripping off his body could hide the tears streaming down his face in that moment.

For so many years people had tried to persuade him to sign with a bigger company. He was unaware just how many fans he’d hadImpact, WWE, New Japan, had all made him multiple offers and promises that he knew were too good to be true. The journalists and dirt sheets reported on rumored contract offers, his future plans, who he was thinking of signing with next, everything under the sun. He’d laughed them all off. He wasn’t in the business for the money, although a big paycheck wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

But this? This feeling in the building tonight of unbridled joy, excitement, and the sweet taste of victory at last?

It was  **_everything_ ** .

Adam hoisted the title up high over his head with a triumphant cry to the approval of the crowd, who were chanting his name and “Cowboy shit!” like crazy. He grinned bashfully. Holy fuck. He’d actually done it.

His girlfriend of three years was waiting for him when he was freshly showered and changed in the back, tears shining in her olive green eyes. Her work kept her busy most days, but she’d been fortunate enough to have the day off to come see him perform for the first time in a while. Sara threw her arms around him with an ecstatic laugh, Adam spinning her around in the air and kissing her like there was no tomorrow. The most beautiful, hardworking, kind, smart, and caring person he’d ever met. She was his world. She’d been there for him despite everything. He was happy beyond words that she’d been able to make it.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered when they broke apart. Adam blushed. “I’m so, so proud of you, hon.”

“I’m still not sure I believe it, to be honest.” He looked down at the title around his waist, shining brightly under the hallway lights. “I feel like I’m gonna wake up tomorrow and this’ll all have been a dream. Hell, sometimes I still feel that way about  **you** .” Sara affectionately rolled her eyes at him.

“If you keep saying that, one day you just might,” she joked, and Adam grinned.

“I’ve been saying it for three years and it hasn’t happened yet,” he pointed out. “I think I’m safe. Unless you’re thinking about leaving me?” he asked with a faux worried expression. Sara stood on her tiptoes to steal a brief kiss, smile gentle and bright as she met his eyes.

“Never.” Adam’s heart swelled with an indescribable happiness. God, how had he been lucky enough to find someone as wonderful as her? He took her hand, gently lacing their fingers together, grabbing his suitcase again. His smile was crooked and genuine, sweet and loving and warm.

“Let’s go home.”

XxX

Adam sighed tiredly when he slowly blinked awake, rolling over onto his stomach and staring blearily at the alarm clock on his nightstand. It was too early to be up on a Saturday morning. Fuck, he hadn’t dreamed about that night in a while. The bed suddenly felt empty and cold.  _ Fuck. _ He needed to get up. Go downstairs.

He stared contemplatively at the whiskey bottle sitting at the end of the kitchen counter next to his coffee creamer. He couldn’t really drink much during the week with classes and school being a thing. He’d gotten out of the habit of getting shitfaced drunk once the school year had started. An occasional sip when he worked on the rare lesson plan, a glass or two when he was just trying to unwind from a stressful week, a few when memories like the one he’d dreamed about last night resurfaced. Did he really need it? Couldn’t he go one time without the process starting all over again? He hesitated over his coffee. The creamer was right there too…

He sighed, attempting to quickly run a hand through his hair only for it to get tangled on his fingers. He yelped as it tugged, stumbling a bit as it harshly yanked his head to the side, nearly knocking the coffee pot over and creating an even bigger mess than his life already was. Almost two years ago that night had happened. Why couldn’t he have lived in the moment just a little bit more, cherished it, committed every detail to memory? Why did it have to keep haunting him like this? He finally freed his fingers from the curly nightmare that was his just rolled out of bed hair, face in his hands, eyes squeezed shut. He could already tell today was not going to be a good day.

He took a shaky breath in, pouring a healthy amount of whiskey into his coffee. It wasn’t enough to ruin the taste, but it was enough to guarantee a better mood. Hopefully. Thankfully he wasn’t wrestling this weekend, opting to take the week off since classes had just started back up. He flopped down on his living room couch with his cup, staring blankly up at his ceiling in the early morning darkness. He really didn’t need another day where his brain continuously called him a piece of shit, reminded him that he’d done this to himself, that he’d been selfish and arrogant and knew what his decision would do to his relationship. His career or his girlfriend? His dream or his lover? Things between him and Sara weren’t ever perfect. They’d argued their fair share and had plenty of grievances, but they’d always been able to work them out before. Before the title win. Maybe he should have seen it coming. He laughed sadly to himself. Maybe his asking Kenny if he’d be busy this weekend was a sign by his subconscious that this was going to happen.

He drank a decent amount of his cup in one go, grimacing to see almost half of it gone. The cup was about as tall as the coffee pot. Which was in a completely different room and he’d just laid down again. He glared at the offending object in his hand before shaking his head. It was fine. Everything was fine. He had his career, which had only skyrocketed after that night. Even injured he could still tell a story, still maintain the hype.

Occasional appearances at shows after nonstop driving directly after a school day, recorded promos, satellite interviews. Being a sort of mentor figure for the leader of an up and coming stable allowed him to contribute a lot as a character. He could sit back and watch their progress, occasionally show up and step in when needed. He still had matches, of course, though not as many as he’d like. Showing up to school bruised, broken, and beaten down probably wasn’t the best idea. Then again, that’s how he was inside, so he kind of already did that, didn’t he?

For all that he’d “done” and “achieved”, for all of the talk of him as a “legend” and a “hero”, an “inspiration”...

He wasn’t any of those things.

He was a broken shell of a man who could barely take care of himself on an  _ okay _ day, much less a normal day. It had gotten so bad that he’d had to ask his dad if he could come take his horses off his hands for fear he’d neglect them like he’d been neglecting himself at the time. Take away his lover, take away his way of life. At least he still had his dream job, right? He hardly remembered what good days felt like anymore, sometimes didn’t realize he was having one until it hit him that he’d been smiling a lot,  **actually** smiling, his mind, for once, not cycling through all of his biggest fuck ups and failures as a human being.

Like when he was with Kenny. Adam smiled.

Sweet, shy, goofy, kind, adorable Tyson Smith had been the light in his darkness this past week. A friend he never thought he’d have, didn’t expect to find in Virginia of all places. A friend he never knew he needed. A friend who understood what it was like to lose a vital part of his life. They had what the other had lost. It was a bit of sad irony, but it was true. Fuck, he could call him, right? He’d been spiraling since he’d woken up, and he really didn’t want it to continue. Especially not alone.

He took another swig of his spiked coffee, putting the cup down on the coffee table and trudging back upstairs. He needed clothes, his glasses, his phone… Two of those things were sitting on his nightstand when he flipped the lights on for the first time that morning, shielding his eyes with a wince for a few moments. The glasses went on first, lest he want a pounding headache later in the day, a pair of boxers, sweatpants, and an old hoodie getting thrown on. He looked around for his brush and a hair tie, neat, wavy curls going up in a messy bun before he finally turned on his phone. A few texts from Matt and Nick caught his eye, and he briefly scanned through them with a small smile. He and the Young Bucks had had their differences in the past, knew each other from ROH and the various other American indies. At one point they’d hated each other. But, after a lot of talking and clearing things up and apologizing they were okay again. They’d been good friends, checking up on him, even asking if he was interested in working for AEW.

He’d really been thinking about it, signing with the upstart promotion of over a year now. AEW didn’t feel like the others. They didn’t seem out for themselves and trying to snatch up all available talent. The Bucks, Tony Khan, and Cody genuinely seemed like they wanted him there. He was cleared, just needed the school year to conclude before he could do anything full time again. Would that full time be AEW? Maybe. ROH had been good to him, but he’d done all he could really do there. Maybe… Maybe this was when he finally tried it on the bigger stage. National television. Major company.

_ Hey, man. Just checking up on you. I hope the first week back went okay. Call us later. There’s something huge we want to talk to you about. _

He’d have to remember to call them tonight. But at the moment… He dialed Kenny’s number before he could change his mind, hearing it ring several times before there was finally an answer.

_ “Stevie! Hey! How are you?” _ Kenny sounded a bit out of breath for eight in the morning, but Adam didn’t let that thought linger.

“Hey. I’m alright, I guess. Sorry to call so early. I don’t mean to be interrupting anything.”

_ “No, you’re fine! I just finished a workout, actually. Everything okay?” _ There was rustling in the background, followed by the sound of a door closing and footsteps on hardwood.

“Yeah. Um, I was wondering if you had time to drop by? I know you said you had some lesson plans to redo and stuff, so it’s okay if you can’t. I just…”  _ I don’t want to be alone, _ went unspoken, but it was definitely understood. Kenny’s voice softened over the phone.

_ “Let me shower and I’ll be over in about twenty minutes.” _

“S-Sure. I’ll leave the front door unlocked. Do you, um, want breakfast or anything?” He’d almost forgotten he hadn’t eaten yet.

_ “You don’t have to do all that.” _ He could practically see Kenny blushing, giving him that shy smile.  _ “Only if you feel like it.” _

“I don’t mind. I haven’t eaten yet. I’ll make enough for the both of us.”

_ “Okay. See you in a bit.” _

“See you.”

Adam let out a huge breath, totally not trying and failing to remember the last time he’d had guests over that weren’t his parents or Matt, Nick, and Cody. Why was he feeling kind of panicky and nervous all of a sudden? The house was clean, it wasn’t like Kenny was a total stranger, and everything was fine. Right? Aaahhh, maybe.

Breakfast! Right! Breakfast… What did he have in the house right now?

Twenty minutes later downstairs saw Adam putting hash browns, eggs, bacon, and French toast on two plates, the coffee hot again, front door swinging shut softly as Kenny walked in, eyes roaming the comfy looking house of his neighbor: the rustic furniture, the warm and welcoming atmosphere, the  _ gorgeous _ man currently staring at him wide eyed and jaw dropped slightly, two full plates halfway to the kitchen table. Kenny blushed, averting his gaze, smiling softly.

“Your home is beautiful,” he told him quietly. “And that smells  _ heavenly _ .” It was Adam’s turn to blush, hand rubbing the back of his neck once he put the plates down.

“It’s not much…” he replied, referring to both, pulling out Kenny’s chair for him and handing him a cup of coffee before taking a seat himself.

“It’s wonderful.” Kenny was referring to both as well as he sat down. They stared at each other for a moment, hesitant, before both laughing nervously at themselves.

“Sorry,” Adam whispered. “I don’t usually have guests over. And I’m just so…”

“Awkward,” Kenny finished for him. “Me too.” Adam nodded, watching Kenny slowly try his cooking before quickly devouring the plate with a grin. His hair was still dripping wet from his shower, slowly starting to curl again, his video game t-shirt strained against the muscle he didn’t know was there with all of the jackets and sweaters Kenny had been wearing. Holy  _ shit. _ Also, shorts in winter?! It couldn’t have been even forty degrees outside! He looked away, focusing on his own plate, not noticing Kenny’s eyes slowly rise to observe him now.

He’d never seen Adam in anything other than jeans, cowboy boots, and any number of beautiful button up shirts, much less with his hair up, much less wearing  **glasses?** Adam always seemed so put together and friendly. Maybe a little quiet, but certainly not as awkward and shy as him. He looked down at his cup of coffee. He’d seen a container of creamer as he’d walked in…

“The sugar’s behind the coffee on the counter. The creamer’s at the end,” Adam told him, gesturing behind him. “Help yourself. I didn’t know how you liked it, so…”

“Thanks.” Kenny tried not to show how embarrassed he was when quite a bit of creamer and sugar went into his cup, Adam chuckling before his smile fell.

“Thank you. For coming over.” Kenny looked over at him with understanding in his eyes, making his way back over to the table and sitting down, taking a sip of his coffee before speaking, eyes then fixed firmly on the mug in his hands.

“I know what it’s like, to have those bad days. You wake up from a dream you wish was only a dream… And it’s all you can think about. You can’t help but beat yourself up over it, the moment it all went wrong. And it eats away at you until it’s all you have left and it’s all that you are.” He met Adam’s eyes again with a sad smile. “Thank you for calling me.” Adam held his gaze, grateful and lost for words.

“I… Um…” He looked down at the empty dishes on the table, gathering them up and taking them over to the sink to wash them. Kenny watched him, smile softening. “Honestly, I didn’t really think this through.” Spontaneity wasn’t really his thing. “I don’t really know what we’d do now that…”

“If you just want to talk, that’s fine. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” Adam put the now clean dishes on the rack, drying his hands and sitting back down at the table with a sigh, a burning question on his mind.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way. But I just need to know… If your husband left you after you hit the highest point in your career… Would your purpose still be the same? Would you even still know your purpose if he wasn’t there with you, every step of the way?” Kenny laughed bitterly, a few memories he hadn’t thought about in a while rushing back to him.

“Believe it or not, there were a few years when we weren’t together. Back then, I’d always felt in his shadow, like no matter what I did and how hard I worked I could never be as good as him. When we went our separate ways for a while, I looked like I was on top of the world to just about everyone else. But thinking about him hurt. So,  **_so_ ** much. My dream job gave me my purpose, sure, but he was the reason I realized it, believed in it. When I didn’t have him… I put on an arrogant, cocky, confident facade to make it look like I was okay, like I didn’t need him… But he was everything I needed. So when I could hold him in my arms again…”

Adam didn’t miss the tear that fell from Kenny’s lashes, landing silently on the table. Kenny’s gaze was distant, broken, hurting. Once again, Adam asked himself why he couldn’t just keep his mouth shut so Kenny wouldn’t have to keep reliving the painful times in his life. Kenny looked to him then, gaze curious now.

“That something important you lost… Were you married?” Adam shook his head after a moment.

“No. I never got the chance to propose to her before she left me.” That fact still weighed him down whenever he remembered it, the ring box sitting hidden in the bottom of a drawer in his room. Kenny nodded in understanding.

“I’m sorry. I wish she’d understood why you chose what you did.”  _ Career over love. Love over career… Why couldn’t one have both? Why had the world decided that neither of them could have both, but others could? _ Adam hummed.

“Me too,” he whispered. His heart clenched, throat becoming tight, eyes hinting they might start watering.

Fuck. He thought he was past this. After he’d gotten past wanting to end it all and realizing that, as much as Sara leaving hurt, it wasn’t the end of the road for him… It still fucking hurt. Kenny caught the shift in his mood and his body language, getting up from his chair and gently tugging Adam to his feet. Adam complied in confusion before letting out a quiet,  _ “Oh,” _ as strong arms wrapped gently around him, holding him close.

Kenny was hugging him.

It had been so long since anyone had hugged him when he was feeling down like this. But  **why** was Kenny hugging him? They’d only really known each other for about a week. Why did he care?

“Losing someone you love like that… No one should ever have to experience it. It’s like you’re not whole without them, like the world just isn’t right. I’m so sorry.”

Kenny’s voice broke at the end, and that’s when Adam’s arms flew up to return the embrace, finally letting his tears fall, burying his face in Kenny’s shoulder, wet curls resting against his forehead, cool and calming compared to the burning, stinging sadness threatening to overwhelm him. He clung to Kenny as a sob racked his body, then another. Fuck, had he ever talked to anyone about this before? He didn’t think so, at least not sober and in a healthy-ish state of mind. Kenny held him like that, slowly rubbing comforting circles into his back until he had no more tears to cry. Minutes, hours, days, years, it felt like an eternity that they stood in his kitchen like that. There was just so  **much.** He slowly pulled back, frowning at the messy lenses of his glasses and taking them off with a sniffle.

“I’m a fucking mess,” Adam laughed quietly. “God, you didn’t come over here to listen to me cry. Fuck, I’m sorry—

“You weren’t showing me around yesterday for me to tell you my life’s story either,” Kenny pointed out, smiling. “You’re okay, I promise. That’s what friends are for.” Adam laughed, hastily wiping at his face with the sleeves of his hoodie and cleaning his glasses as best he could.

“I hope your husband doesn’t think I’m stealing you away or anything. I know you said he was working, but…” Kenny snorted.

“He’s not the jealous type, never has been thankfully. He’s… Really glad that we’re friends. He said that I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time.” Adam grinned, relieved.

“I am too,” he admitted. “It’s been a long time since I’ve made it through most of the week without falling apart all the way.” His mind flashed back to a few worrying weeks in his past that he’d rather not linger on before he refocused on a smirking Kenny.

“Well, I guess that means you’re stuck with me then.” Adam didn’t mind that in the slightest, because now Kenny was stuck with him too.

“I’m glad.”


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

A/N: I apologize for how everywhere this chapter might feel. This went through a MAJOR rewrite, so I’m sure some things are going to feel a bit out of place. And I apologize for the sad cowboy flashback. Adam deserves the world and I promise there are plenty of happy moments on the way for him… Eventually. <3

  
  


_ Manhattan, New York _

_ The Injury _

_ ROH Final Battle _

**_FUCK that hurt!_ **

**_Shit!_ **

Adam was laid out on the outside of the ring in the wreckage of the announce table, a searing pain shooting through his right quad. Fuck, did he tear it? Moving that leg made spots appear in his vision. Why had he agreed to this last man standing match? Jay Lethal looked on with a maniacal grin while Adam groaned, rolling over slowly onto his chest. If he could just crawl, reach a barricade or the ring apron. It took all of his energy just to get to one knee, much less up on one foot. He hobbled over to the barricade, gritting his teeth at the pain. Fuck, he wasn’t okay. He was booked to lose anyway, but dammit he didn’t want to go out like this!

Adam glared at Jay, flipping him off, much to the crowd’s pleasure, eliciting cheers loudest from the section he was standing in front of. Lethal rolled out of the ring and grabbed him by his hair, growling something Adam couldn’t quite make out over the crowd noise before slugging him with a vicious right hand that had Adam’s head swimming. Going head first into the ring post was the last thing he remembered before he was suddenly falling back to the ground in the ring, failing to stay on both feet as the ref counted to ten. The bell rang and Jay’s music played.

The sad part was that his memory was spotty here. Looking back on it all, he was probably concussed in the match. There was still some missing time in his memory. Between getting checked out by the ringside doctors and when he and Sara got home after all of it was something he still didn’t recall. His fight with Sara though? Clear as day.

The door to the house slammed shut behind Sara as Adam gingerly settled on the couch, setting his crutches aside and within arm’s reach if he needed them. She was fuming, icy glare directed Adam’s way. That was a look he’d been on the receiving end of a lot as of late.

“I’m sick and tired of this. I’m  **sick** and  **tired** of it! Ever since you’ve won that title, all you can think about, talk about, dream about is work. You threw a perfect life away for work and now you’ve thrown your health away for it.” She gestured at his injured leg in disgust. “When I’m home, you’re  _ out with the boys, training, doing a meet and greet, doing an interview, traveling for a show. _ You haven’t had any time with me since March and you think I’m not going to be angry?”

“Babe—

“And when you  **are** home, it’s  _ babe, I’m tired. Babe, it’s been a long day. Babe, I just want to sleep. _ It’s  _ aaall _ about you. The house is a mess. There’s hardly anything in the kitchen. This relationship is in shambles. You won’t ask me how I’ve been. You won’t spend time with me. You won’t even listen to what I have to say half the time! You’re a selfish, no good, narcissistic son of a bitch now that you’re a celebrity, huh,  _ champ?” _ Adam clenched his fist at that. Who in the hell had replaced the beautiful woman he’d fallen in love with?

“Did you ever stop and think how I felt whenever you’re at work all the time? I cook for you. I clean the house for you. I take care of  **_our_ ** dog. Whenever you come home from work in a mood I always sit there and let you rant. When you have a bad day I’m there for you. I pick up the groceries. I take the cars to the shop. I pamper the  **fuck** out of you even when I feel like shit and can’t hardly move from a match. I’d stay up and wait for you to get home when you texted me you’d be home late. I didn’t complain once because I didn’t mind, because I love you and I wanted you to feel like a queen. Being a lawyer has you sleeping in your office sometimes. You never call and tell me and I never ask where you’ve been when you get home because I was just happy you were home. Did I miss anything,  _ babe?” _ Sara looked taken aback, lost for words, knowing everything he said was true. Adam sighed, gripping at his hair in frustration with himself.

“Yes, I did become extremely busy as champion. A champion’s schedule is more full. I have more things that I need to do. And usually the only downtime is either with the guys or in between travel days. Did I make enough time for you within all of that? No, I didn’t, and I didn’t even talk to you about it once, even when I noticed a rift starting to happen. I’m sorry I’ve been a shitty boyfriend lately, Sara.” Adam averted his eyes, speaking softly now. “I’d been dreaming of winning a world title for most of my life. That night when you watched me win, you were so happy for me. Do you remember?”

“Of course I do,” she replied, sounding deflated and tired, so tired.

“What happened then? Was I really neglecting you that much when I won it? Was I really such an awful person who didn’t want to spend time with you? Or were you just so used to always having me around to do everything that when I wasn’t you couldn’t function?” She didn’t answer him. She wouldn’t even look at him. “I understand the stress and exhaustion that comes with a job that you really love that has you really involved. Physically and mentally it drains you almost completely sometimes. I get it. Especially when people’s livelihood is on the line in your case, you’ll get home and just want to shut the world away and lay in somebody’s arms for the night.” Adam looked over at his crutches, blinking tears out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you like I used to… And I’m sorry that I can’t really give you that right now either. I fucked up, and I can’t even make it better right now.” There was a long, tense silence in the room before Sara spoke again.

“You… You chose your career over me.” He heard her walk away after that, thud of her shoes echoing around the house, a door shutting forcefully but not quite slammed upstairs. Adam stayed on the couch, staring listlessly into the air, at a loss. He wasn’t even hurt at this point. He was beyond hurt. He was just.. Numb. He’d apologized. He’d pointed out what had  **actually** happened, that he understood that he’d not been there for her, that he understood that she was under a lot of pressure and stress and that he wanted to do better… And she says he chose his career over her?

He remembered falling asleep asking himself what he’d done wrong, what he could have and should have said, if he should have said anything at all. She started avoiding him after that night, only speaking to him if it was absolutely necessary. But instead of looking furious, Sara looked… Broken. Depressed. There was something deep and hurting that he couldn’t quite place that haunted her eyes now, and no matter what he tried she wouldn’t open up to him about it. They both endured a little over three weeks of that, of a total breakdown in communication and lack of healthy interaction between them before Sara finally went up to him one night, a suitcase and a pair of duffle bags in hand. Adam was seated on the couch with the tv running when he saw her coming down the stairs, standing in front of him. She had a coat on, car keys in hand, holding out the house key to him, barely able to meet his eyes.

“I’m leaving,” she whispered, voice small, remorseful. “I’m sorry. I’m just not… I’m sorry, Stephen.”

Something in Adam snapped then. Something holding him together inside after three weeks of Hell  **snapped,** and instead of numbness all the hurt and agony he’d been blocking out since that night  **_flooded_ ** him. Shakily, he reached for the key, fingers brushing hers as he took it back, his gift to her for their first anniversary. He watched her go, their sweet golden puppy trailing after her, the front door closing ominously loud in the now very empty feeling house. He turned the tv off. He didn’t move for the rest of the night.

The next day he hobbled his way into the kitchen. He hadn’t eaten much lately, or drank anything. A decanter of expensive whiskey, a surprise present from Sara the week he’d won the title, caught his eye. It was strong. And it reminded him of her. He wanted it gone. First it was one glass. Then two. Soon he was drinking straight from it. He was a bit numb again, and a bit numb was better than not numb at all. The room was spinning. He felt like shit, but it was better than the soul crushing heartbreak he’d felt while sober. Drinking. Drinking was good.

No! Wait, no, drinking was  **not** good! What little part of his rational brain was left cried out to him.

But would you rather the alternative? Do you  **want** to feel like your entire world has come crashing down on you, up in flames, suffocating, drowning, crushing, destroying you from the inside out? The rest of his brain led with that argument.

He drained the rest of the bottle. And then everything went blessedly dark.

XxX

_ “You look like shit.” _ Kota told Adam, who chuckled at his tone. They had run into each other quite often in the last several months. Kota worked for AEW, but his contract also let him work wherever else he’d like as well outside of his usual AEW dates. They’d teamed quite often as of late, and even though the language barrier made it rough sometimes they’d ended up becoming quite good friends. They were teaming tonight in the main event of a show. “Are you… Okay?” Adam’s eyebrows shot up in shock.

“Wait, you speak English?” He’d been told that he didn’t. Kota laughed at that.

“A little. I… Understand better than speak.” Adam nodded.

“Holy shit, dude! Did you get a teacher?” Kota made an “Eh” gesture. “Woah! Okay. Um…” Adam shook his head, way too excited at the moment. Kota smiled. “So, for the match tonight…”

Their tag team match went almost perfectly later in the night, their tandem offense flowing quite well. It was a school night, which meant that he would be pretty sore in class the next morning, but he’d  **missed this.** He hadn’t felt this alive in a while! A phoenix splash and a shooting star press, in sync, got them the three count, Adam the legal man. The crowd roared as his music played, he and Kota high fiving as they made their way to the back after waving to the fans and sending them home happy. Adam laughed jovially, hearing it echo down the hall as he and Kota made it back to the locker room to shower and change. Adam was out first, towelling off his hair when Ibushi emerged doing the same thing. They looked at each other then, laughing.

“Copycat!” Kota told him.

“Hey, I was out first! You’re copying me!”

Kota playfully shoved at his chest with one hand, Adam lightly smacking him in the ass as he walked past to get to his things. He ducked the bottle of lotion Kota sent sailing his way with a chuckle, Kota dissolving into a fit of giggles as it rebounded off the wall and hit Adam in the back of the head anyway. They were an odd pairing, but they always had a blast together. Adam had had to rely on visual cues and body language for as long as they’d known each other. Or so he thought!

“So this whole time I’ve been going on and rambling about shit before and after shows, hell, during shows, you’ve understood me?” Kota made a thoughtful face, looking back on things as they both got dressed.

“Mmm… Sometimes. I… Am still learning.”

Adam pulled on a comfortable shirt to travel home in, checking the time. He wouldn’t be getting much sleep. Thank goodness tomorrow was a quiz and a project work day.

“Page-san.” Adam turned to Kota, who looked at him expectantly, tilting his head. He did that whenever he was confused or had a question—Ah. Reading body language came in handy after all.

“Oh. Yeah. I’m okay. Just… Had a rough weekend. Bad memories.” He immediately went to reassure him at the concerned look on his face. “I’m okay! I’m fine. A friend came over on Saturday, helped me take my mind off things.” Adam smiled. “Tyson’s a great guy.”

Kota’s eyes went wide then. Kenny had told him that he’d gone to see his friend on Saturday who was having a rough day. It suddenly clicked, and Kota couldn’t help but chuckle at his luck. Neither of them knew who the other was, did they?

“A teacher?” Adam nodded, confused at his laughter.

“Yeah. He teaches Japanese and ESL at the school I work at. Why?” Kota shook his head fondly. These two wonderful, kind, oblivious idiots.

_ “You really don’t know who each other are?” _ Adam looked at him blankly, then with a playful glare.

“You always do that when you’re making fun of me.”

“No!”

“Yes you do!”

“Aaahhh,” Kota waved him off with a laugh. They gathered up their things and headed out for the night. Adam was on his way back home while Kota was heading for the airport.

“Good luck on Dynamite. Too Sweet the Bucks for me?” Kota rolled his eyes affectionately at that. “Be safe, okay?”

“You too,” Kota told him.  **_“Rest.”_ **

“No promises,” Adam replied, laughing and waving at Kota as he drove off.

He sighed, post match adrenaline starting to wear off a little. Three hours on the road until he was home. Not the worst or longest he’d driven, but when class was at eight thirty in the morning and he had to get up to make the drive to get there before then? It felt like forever and he hadn’t even put the key in the ignition yet. Tomorrow was going to be a long day. Just as he shifted out of park his phone vibrated. He glanced at it and smiled. A text from Tyson.

_ Hey. Travel safe. See you tomorrow! _

It was such a small thing. But it meant everything, especially after the state of mind he’d been in over the weekend. He texted back.

_ i will. have a good night. _

He pulled up his GPS and started on the drive back.

XxX

“You look exhausted,” Kenny told him the next morning, Adam practically napping in his desk chair, feet up, arms folded behind his head, glasses slightly askew. He’d barely made it through his last class and his energy levels were only dropping. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“I have the whole afternoon. It’s fine.” He yawned, eyes drooping, and Kenny studied him carefully.

“You should still have  _ something.” _ Mother hen. Affectionately! He meant that affectionately. But still.

“I will grab something out of the fridge to snack on if it bothers you that much.”

Adam stood up with a wince. Ahhh, the disadvantage of chilling out at his desk for two hours straight. All the soreness creeping up on him at once until he finally decided to move again. Lovely.  _ Fuck. _ He grabbed an apple and a water, about to settle back down in his desk chair when Kenny gently cupped his face with a panicked sound, turning it towards him with wide eyes.

“Where did you get that bruise?” Shit. Had he gotten bruised up from the match? His back and chest were bright red when he’d examined them last night, still very much so this morning, so his shirt had been buttoned all the way up and tucked. He gasped as Kenny’s hand traced lightly over the discolored green skin on his jaw. “What is this from?”

“I’m okay, I promise,” Adam told him, laughing it off, although secretly heartwarmed that Kenny had been so worried. “I’m a klutz, so sometimes I run into things.” Things might happen to be vicious missile dropkicks that launch you halfway across the ring, but Kenny didn’t need to know that. He gently took Kenny’s hands in his own and lowered them.

“What, are you telling me you ran into a pole or something?” Kenny was trying to go along with his lighthearted vibe, but he was still clearly worried.

“Believe it or not, I  **have** done that before.”

“No!”

“Yup! I was a kid and it was early morning on my parent’s horse farm. I couldn’t half see where I was going. Ran towards the barn and straight into a pole holding one of our fences together. Scared a few of them half to death. Almost got kicked in the head.” Kenny giggled at the mental image of a young Adam ducking a kick from a horse with the imprint of a pole on his face.

“And you’re sure you’re okay? Nothing happened?” Adam decided he hated Kenny’s worried frown almost as much as his sad smile.

“Nothing to worry about. Nothing I didn’t know might happen. It's a danger that comes with the job.” Kenny poked the tip of his tongue out between his lip in thought, eyes narrowed, and if that wasn’t the cutest thing he’d ever seen Kenny do…

“Are you… A bouncer?” Adam snorted.

“What, for like, clubs and shit?” He laughed. “No.”

“Security?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Personal bodyguard?” Flattering.

“Nope.” Kenny pouted, and Adam would forever deny that he may have given Kenny the most affectionate  _ aw _ … “It’s not…  _ That _ big of a deal to you, is it?”

“I don’t mean to make it one. But you don’t just show up somewhere with bruises without something having happened to you.” Adam sighed.

“I got kicked in the face by someone, okay? Walked right into it. I got them back for it later on, but… That’s what happened.” Kenny nodded, silent for a few minutes.

“So, someone kicked you in the face. Why didn’t you just say that?”

“I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t even know I had that bruise until you pointed it out.”

“I’m your friend. It’s my job to be worried about you.” He averted his eyes. “I know you don’t want to tell me what your other job is, and I understand. I’m the same way.” He bit his lip briefly. “I just want to know that you’re safe.” Adam tipped his chin up gently, Kenny meeting his warm gaze.

“I am. I promise.” Kenny gave him a small smile.

“Okay.” Adam’s stomach growling interrupted whatever else either of them might have said, both of them laughing as Kenny pushed his food Adam’s way. “You’re welcome to some of mine. I didn’t see you with any out when I got here.”

“I was so tired from the drive last night I didn’t make anything. And I haven’t restocked the fridge here in a little while.” He took a bite of Kenny’s stir-fry and his eyes went wide. “Is this steak?”

“I kind of just threw a bunch of leftovers in a tupperware, to be honest.”

“This is AMAZING.” Kenny laughed, a little embarrassed.

“It’s just leftovers. You sure that kick didn’t give you a concussion?”

“The last time I had one was one of the worst days of my life. This is not that at all.” Kenny didn’t quite know how to take that statement, instead giggling as Adam loudly slurped the last of the noodles in the container.

XxX

Kota made his way into the house late Thursday afternoon with a sigh. He  **_hated_ ** flying. As much as he loved wrestling he would  **always** hate flying. But! He didn’t miss having to go out there four or five nights in a row with his body feeling broken into pieces and no full days to rest. So there was that. What wasn’t there was his usual welcome home hug and kiss. Strange. Where was Kenny? He set his suitcase by the stairs as he shut the door behind him, looking around.

_ “Tyson?” _

_ “Living room!” _ It sounded like a very sleepy shout. Kota walked into the next room to see Kenny huddled under a blanket wearing one of his hoodies (Kota’s heart melted a little at that), smiling up tiredly at him.  _ “Sorry. I fell asleep when I got home.” _ Kenny moved his feet, and Kota took a seat, placing them on his lap. 

_ “Have you been resting enough?” _ Kenny nodded.

_ “Yeah. I mean, I guess I was up a little late after Dynamite. Scheduled a check up. They said they had everything back from the last scans they did on me, so I’ll finally have an answer regarding  _ **_that_ ** _. But I’ve been sleeping, I promise!” _ There was a tenseness in Kenny’s body that he didn’t like. Kota rubbed along Kenny’s calves soothingly, and Kenny hummed in thanks.

_ “You’re worried,” _ Kota finally said. Kenny sighed, letting his head fall back against the arm of the couch.

_ “A little. Wouldn’t you be if a friend showed up to work—Well, that’s kind of our—” _ He stopped himself.  _ “ _ **_Your_ ** _ thing, so I guess not.” _ Kota frowned.

_ “Was he okay?” _

_ “Bruised up a little, but he said he was fine.” _ So Adam hadn’t told him.

_ “If he says he’s fine, I’m sure he is.” _

_ “I know, but I can’t help but worry.” _

_ “I’m sure he appreciates it.” _ Kota tilted his head to the side.  _ “Did he not tell you what he was doing?” _

_ “He told me how he got it, but I know he doesn’t want to talk about that job and what he does. I don’t want to pry.” _

_ They’re both so stubborn _ , Kota thought to himself in fond exasperation.

_ “He’ll tell you when he’s comfortable, I’m sure. You said he’s been having a hard time lately. Maybe that’s part of it.” _ He kissed along Kenny’s jaw, and Kenny hummed happily.  _ “He’ll be okay.” _

_ “And if he isn’t?” _ Kota crawled underneath the covers, rearranging the two of them so that he was holding Kenny from behind. Kenny let out a soft gasp as Kota wrapped his arms around him, plopping a kiss into his hair with a comforting smile.

_ “Then he at least has you, and that makes all the difference in the world.” _


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

A/N: Okay. One more sad cowboy flashback. For now. I promise. I think. :) There’s a lot to unpack here, so let’s just get right into it!

**IMPORTANT:** Massive trigger warning for alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, mentions of self harm, and attempted suicide in this first flashback section. That’s not all the flashback is, but it’s not a happy section, so you may want to skip it if it’s not for you.

  
  


_ Virgilina, Virginia _

_??? _

_ January? _

Adam lay in a heap, slumped against the side of his kitchen counter. How long had he been laying on the floor in a mess of his own puke, piss, and whiskey? Days? Weeks? He’d lost all sense of time. His phone was dead. He hadn’t really moved much. His hobby of alcohol sampling had come in handy after all, it seemed. He’d unintentionally built up a stash of rare and expensive drinks, many of which he’d gone through in the last… However long. What day was it? He’d been smart enough to turn the light off before he started this whole thing. Less of a headache during his continuous hangovers. He reached for his glass to find it empty, just like the bottle next to it. Fuck. He’d have to stand.

Adam struggled to get to his feet, limbs heavy and not very responsive. He dragged himself up using the counter, groaning as his vision swam, head pounding. His insides burned, his body ached, and his heart was still somehow beating. What was it going to take to get it to give up on him? That’s all he wanted, not this pain, this self pity, this heartbreak and hopelessness and despair that saw no end in sight and no solution. He just wanted it all to be over. What did the world need him for? He’d given Sara everything he had and she’d left him without an explanation or care in the world. He’d given the fans everything, and now he was on the shelf for however long his drinking would sustain him. What did he have left?

His hand didn’t have a firm grasp on the bottle above him when he tried to pull it towards him, instead knocking it to the ground so it could shatter into a million pieces, bourbon getting everywhere, shards scattered across the hardwood floor. He let his head fall forward with a hiccupping sob. He couldn’t even pick up a fucking bottle now? He laughed at himself. Pathetic. He let his body slump back down, hitting the floor with a  _ thump! _ ... Right onto a pile of glass. He gasped out in pain, shards digging into and slicing his skin, but… It felt… Kind of nice? He’d been trying to escape all of the pain inside him, but this kind of pain was different. His quad was still torn, of course, but there was something about the sharp, stinging, lingering physical pain from the glass that gave him a twisted sense of hope.

He’d been afraid that after Sara he’d never feel anything other than hurt and heartbreak for the rest of his days. But landing in the glass had made him smile, and that was  **_something_ ** . He fidgeted, feeling the glass dig in deeper, and he laughed brokenly. Was his existence from now on just going to be pain? He grabbed a larger shard, what looked like part of the neck of what used to be the bottle, holding it up and examining it, squinting in the semi-darkness, weak beams of light fighting their way through his window blinds. The sun was… Setting? Rising? He’d go with setting. Hmm…

Well, he was injured, and he was in no state to get back to wrestling. There wasn’t really a point anyway now that the person who’d been his biggest supporter was gone. She gave him a purpose and a reason to keep wrestling. Stepping in that ring brang a smile to her face, showed her that he could do anything as long as he fought hard enough for what he wanted, that he was doing something useful with his life that impacted others. Without wrestling  **and** her, what did he have now? He looked all along his body. So much smooth, clear skin. Plenty of chances to slice, carve, maybe draw something if he was feeling particularly funny. He could leave shallow marks on the places people might see later, so that they’d heal without scarring.

Of course, then he remembered he might just die on the floor soon. Whether his body or his will to live gave out first would determine how soon. One of those things was very close to calling it quits too. He glanced down at his wrist. He’d wanted the numbness, the escape. He could just… It would only take a deep cut, right? Maybe one somewhere else too, but he thought he could manage that if need be. He raised the shard in his hand to his wrist. Why was his hand shaking? Why was he hesitating? He pressed down lightly into his skin, letting out a shuddery breath as he watched blood bead and drip down his forearm. It was warm. He hadn’t felt warmth in a while.

“Adam?!” Adam startled at the loud banging from the front door, the glass falling from his hand to shatter into even more pieces on the floor. Was that Nick? “Stevie, come on, open the door, man. We’re worried about you.” We?

“Stevie, you haven’t answered our calls or messages. What is going on?” Matt was here too?

“Cody said you haven’t been answering him. You never ignore him. The three of us have been worried sick. He’s held up in Jacksonville right now, but we wanted to come check on you.”

**_Fuck._ **

How could he forget his friends? Suddenly everything hit him at once and he was  **horrified,** quickly dragging himself away from the glass to the opposite side of the kitchen. Holy fuck. He was about to… He’d really thought about… His eyes landed on the piece of the bottle he’d dropped. That had been right up against his wrist. He’d started cutting into his skin with it. Matt, Dana, Nick, Ellen, their kids, Cody, Brandi, his parents, his family, his friends on the road, his friends from teaching: everyone he’d ever spent time with and smiled with, felt wanted and happy with, flooded his mind, and he sobbed. What was he doing? Had he really spiraled so far that he would consider killing himself?

The front door suddenly burst open (had she left it unlocked when she left?), Matt and Nick looking around frantically as they ran into the house, calling out his name. Matt found him first, calling out to Nick as he rushed over to his side, careful of the mess on the floor. Adam didn’t register much of what they said for a little while, breaking down in their arms, the three of them kneeling on the floor for who knows how long. Adam remembered bits and pieces then. Nick helping him shower and redress, Matt going out and restocking his fridge when he got back, the Bucks cleaning up around his house while they kept giving Adam water to flush out his system.

“You guys don’t have to do this,” he whispered, groaning and holding his head. “I can take care of it. You guys have more important things to do than worry about me.”

“We’re your friends. It’s our job to be worried about you. What kind of friends would we be if we just up and left after finding you like that?” Matt asked.

“You texted us about Sara a little while ago and then you went radio silent. You wouldn’t answer anyone’s calls, texts, DMs, anything. We didn’t know it was because you were going through all of this alone.” Nick sat down next to him while Matt finished up in the kitchen. “We should’ve dropped by sooner.”

“You guys help run a company. You wrestle, you have families. You’re busy people. Don’t waste your time on—

“Coming by to check on family isn’t wasting our time,” Matt told him seriously, setting three plates on the coffee table in front of the couch and sitting down on Adam’s other side, and Adam felt a tear slip down his cheek at that. “Are you sure you don’t want us to take you to a hospital? How many days have you been on that floor?”

“I-I don’t know. What day is it?” The Bucks looked at each other worriedly, Matt speaking up.

“Wednesday.” They interrupted Adam before he could fly into a panic as his eyes went wide. “I’m injured in storyline, and we both taped stuff to run for the next few weeks.”

“We’ll stay with you for as long as you’ll let us hang around. We called home and told them we’d be away for a bit,” Nick added.

“We just want to make sure you’re okay, maybe help out around here if you want. I know getting around on that leg can’t be easy.” Adam sniffled, smiling sadly, looking to them gratefully.

“You guys…”

“We’re always here for you, man. Always. Call, text, FaceTime. Whenever you need us.” Adam chuckled at himself in embarrassment as tears came anew, nodding at them. They laughed fondly, embracing him gently.

For the next few weeks Matt and Nick worked from Adam’s house, nursing him back to health as they did so. Every day they reassured Adam that they  **wanted** to be there, and every day Adam couldn’t fathom why. 

“Because we love you, man. And we want to see you happy and healthy and okay.”

If you had asked Adam years ago if he ever thought teaming with the Young Bucks at a few ROH and PWG shows would get him two best friends, he would’ve called you crazy. He was so, so glad he’d been wrong. He was so grateful to have them in his life, even if he was still trying to figure out how to fully express that to them. When Adam felt mentally and physically okay enough to go about the day on his own he assured them it was okay for them to leave and get back to their own lives. They gave him one last huge hug their last night there, telling him to be safe and letting him know that if he ever wanted it they’d have a contract waiting for him.

XxX

“You’re friends with Matt and Nick too?” Adam asked one day several weeks later. It was a warmer day in February, and the two were taking a walk around town that afternoon. Kenny nodded, grinning.

“Yep! They’re my best friends. We met, gosh, ten, eleven years ago? I don’t know what they saw in an awkward, geeky, twenty something year old me, but they’re like family. They helped us move into our house, they were at our wedding. We’ve been through a lot together.”

Adam wondered how much Kenny knew about their wrestling careers. Surely he couldn’t know them without knowing what they did for a living? But he didn’t really want to bring wrestling up at the moment. Did Kenny even like wrestling? Did Kenny know a thing about it? It wasn’t really a career you just… Told people about. Adam remembered getting plenty of strange looks from newer staff at the beginning of the year when they asked if he did anything else for a living and he answered that he was a popular professional wrestler. He wasn’t too keen on scaring Kenny off with it, although he highly doubted Kenny would judge or make fun of him or look at him like he was crazy like so many others did. Still, a part of him was truly terrified he might run off the only close friend he had in town.

“They’re great guys. Saved my life last year. I wouldn’t be back on my feet without them.” Kenny looked to him in surprise, vaguely remembering the Bucks saying something about visiting a friend in Virginia last year. Were they talking about Adam? “Actually, I remember them calling me and asking if there were any houses on sale around here last year.” He smiled. “And it ended up being the house you guys moved into.”

“So what I’m hearing is that I should be thanking you for helping us find a beautiful home?” Adam scoffed, looking away.

“I don’t know about all that…” Kenny laughed softly, gently bumping Adam in the side with his shoulder, drawing his gaze.

“Thank you,” he told him sincerely, warmly. “Really. When we were planning on moving, it was kind of a spur of the moment decision. We hadn’t even looked at where we were going to end up until I got the teaching job. Then, when we started packing, I asked the Bucks if they could help us find a place close to the school. I’m really glad we chose the house you picked.” Adam felt himself blushing now, his smile softer, crooked and endearing.

“I’m really glad you guys decided to move here too. I really, really am. I’m glad I got to meet you.” It was Kenny’s turn to blush now, smiling bashfully. “And you’ll have to introduce me to your husband one day.”

“Yeah! Yeah, he’s been wanting to meet you too! Um, we could do dinner at our house one night, maybe? When he has a free week. When you both do, I guess, since you travel for your other work too. I, um… Do you want anything specific? Or, are you allergic to anything? I don’t know which one of us’ll end up cooking. Maybe both of us? But whatever you’d like—

“You’re adorable when you get embarrassed like that. Has anyone ever told you?”

Adam mentally kicked himself for saying that out loud and Kenny laughed nervously. Had it been the Bucks or someone else on the road, he would’ve flipped them off affectionately for teasing him. But Kenny knew Adam meant it genuinely, unable to help responding.

“You call all your friends adorable, cowboy? You know, you don’t look too bad yourself.” Adam scoffed.

“I am a mess on a good day.”

“No you’re not!’ Kenny protested. “Anyone who doesn’t think you’re hot clearly doesn’t have eyes. I mean, come on! Have you seen yourself?”

“I could say the same thing about you,” Adam told him without missing a beat. “I don’t know if you ever notice the way people stare at you when you walk by sometimes.”

“They stare at me because I dress funny and I look weird. I’m nerdy and awkward and people have no problem telling me that.” Adam glared playfully.

“I’m offended on your behalf.” Kenny stifled a laugh at that. “You are  **_gorgeous_ ** , and you  **know** you are, and I’ll keep telling you that until you believe me. If it’s not the hair or the eyes or the muscles or your personality, it’s that  _ beautiful _ smile of yours. Do you know how fast I would’ve asked you out if you weren’t married?” If Adam had that kind of confidence and didn’t stumble over his words like an idiot in that moment, of course. Kenny’s face was bright red, staring at the ground, face hurting from smiling so much.

“Stooooop.” Kenny from a year and a half ago would’ve thanked Adam with a smile and a slight blush. Current Kenny felt like he would explode from the kindness. It was amazing what time could do to one’s self worth. Adam gently bumped him with his shoulder as they turned the corner, heading back towards where they’d parked. “But seriously, whenever everyone’s in town, come by for dinner. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment this week and he’s on the road almost every day, so it’ll have to be next week at the earliest.”

“And I’ve got a lot of travel to do next week too, so that might be a no go.” They both laughed softly when they finally got back to their cars. “Rain check?”

“Yeah. Text me whenever you’re free.”

XxX

Kenny couldn’t quite believe what he’d just heard. He was looking at the copies of his latest MRI in his hand, the words the doctor was telling him repeating over and over in his head.

_ No nerve damage. Fully cleared to compete again. _

They rattled around in his head over and over, all that he could think about for the next few minutes. He smiled, then laughed softly to himself in disbelief. It had been over a year. They’d kept telling him it would take more time to tell if there was any long term damage, that they didn’t have all the answers he was looking for yet. Now that they did and he’d been given them… He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t help the way tears welled up in his eyes and a soul deep joy that he hadn’t felt in so long bubbled up to the surface. He was cleared.

**_He could wrestle again._ **

He thanked the doctor profusely, trying to pull himself together before he drove home, the most ecstatic and relieved smile on his face. It was early evening when he got home that Friday, Kota peeking his head out from the kitchen, something absolutely delicious on the stove. Kota grinned at him lovingly, grinning even wider when he saw how happy Kenny was. He turned off the stove and left the kitchen, eagerly reciprocating the passionate, deep kiss Kenny gave him when he was in arm’s reach. Kota laughed softly as Kenny kissed all along his jaw, his neck, going back to his face and placing butterfly kisses over every bit of skin he could reach. Kota carded his fingers through Kenny’s curls when they pressed their foreheads gently together, Kenny holding him around the waist.

_ “The scans came in. No long term damage. No damage at all.” _

_ “That’s wonderful news!” _ He kissed Kenny’s nose with a happy hum, and Kenny giggled.

_ “And you know what else they told me?” _ Kota hummed curiously as Kenny captured his lips in a lingering, smoldering kiss that left him breathless.  _ “I’m cleared to wrestle again.” _ Kota’s eyes snapped open in shock, and he gave a tearful laugh, grinning from ear to ear. Kenny pulled back slightly to gauge his reaction, feeling his heart melt as Kota threw his arms around him, crying quietly.

_ “Your dream. You can still have your dream,” _ he whispered, joyful beyond words, tears soaking into Kenny’s shirt. Kenny nodded, emotional not even beginning to describe him at the moment.  _ “I’m so glad.” _ They pulled back from one another, and Kota didn’t miss the excited twinkle in Kenny’s eyes.

_ “I know you’re making dinner right now, and you’ve wrestled a lot this week, but… Do you think we could run the ropes and spar a little bit?” _ Kota’s eyes went wide.

They had brought all of Kota’s personal dojo equipment and his ring with them when they’d moved, setting up downstairs in the basement. Kenny would stretch, run the ropes a little, hang out on a turnbuckle or on the apron, but he hadn’t taken a bump since he’d been injured. Now he was full of adrenaline and  _ itching _ to get back in a ring. Kota grabbed his hands and rushed them upstairs to change into something more comfortable, sighing happily as Kenny gently held him from behind after they’d undressed most of the way.

_ “Thank you. Thank you for always being there for me, for always believing in me, for marrying me.” _ He let out a sob.  _ “Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for just being you. I love you. I love you so much…” _ Kota turned around in his arms, cupping Kenny’s face gently and wiping away his tears.

_ “I love you more than anything. Nothing tears us apart again, remember?” _ Kenny nodded, another sob interrupting him before he could speak. He plopped a kiss into Kenny’s hair, Kenny beaming, blushing.  _ “Do you feel like taking any bumps?” _

_ “ _ **_All_ ** _ the bumps,” _ Kenny answered with a smirk when he could speak again. Kota chuckled at his enthusiasm.

_ “You know you’re going to hate yourself when you wake up tomorrow, right?” _ Kenny shrugged, pulling on a comfortable pair of workout shorts and a faded Cleaner t-shirt.

_ “I have to get back into ring shape somehow.” _ Kota grabbed one of Kenny’s shirts without looking, Kenny cackling evilly when they both saw it was a Bullet Club shirt.  _ “Aha! I’m  _ **_overjoyed_ ** _ that I’ve finally convinced you to join us, Ibu-tan. And once you’re Bullet Club, you’re Bullet Club f-f-for  _ **_life!”_ **

Kota gave him the most blank faced glare Kenny had ever seen, but Kenny could see the smile in his eyes, sticking his tongue out and rushing out the door before Kota could grab him. Their laughs echoes throughout the house as they chased each other down to the basement, Kota spearing him once they were both in the ring, Kenny groaning as the mat rattled his spine, familiar yet unfamiliar pain echoing through his body. They both laid there in a heap together, catching their breath.

_ “Welcome back, Kenny-tan.” _ Kenny’s heart felt like it might burst from joy after hearing that nickname fall from Kota’s lips again. God, he’d  **_missed this._ ** Just being back in a ring, even if only the one at home, made him feel whole again. Shining ocean blues met sparkling chestnut browns.

_ “It’s good to be back.” _


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

A/N: Hello! Apologies for such a long wait! Mental health has been a bit everywhere lately, so sitting down to write wasn’t the easiest. I’m sorry if this isn’t the best or longest chapter. We’re going to have a round of Kota flashbacks now and some things a bit more from his perspective. It’s a bit of a Golden Lovers heavy chapter, but the OWC still have an important conversation. Hoping to get another chapter out before tomorrow, but if not then Merry Christmas everyone!!! <333

  
  


_ Japan _

_ Two Out of Three Falls Deathmatch _

_ DDT _

Kota had never felt more exhilarated and alive in his life! This foreigner, Kenny Omega, was unlike anyone he’d ever met. As soon as they were in the ring together there was this energy, this feeling that he couldn’t quite describe.

Like everything was right in the world.

He didn’t remember too much of the match if he were being honest, which might not have necessarily been a good thing. But he remembered how he felt throughout, how he felt  **now** . He’d won, but that wasn’t important. Kenny was up on his feet. They were hugging. Kenny was  **_crying_ ** . And their short embrace felt like everything he didn’t know he’d been missing in his life until now.

Kenny didn’t really speak any Japanese, and Kota didn’t understand much English, so it was hard to communicate when they got to the back, just the two of them. Kenny smiled shyly, and Kota couldn’t help smiling back, forehead pressed to his, both of them in a loose embrace again. This felt right too. The small physical touches felt grounding, calming. They became a frequent thing when Kenny came back, this time working multiple dates for DDT instead of having a one off match. Body language became a huge factor in them understanding each other, even after Michael Nakazawa became their translator, even after Kenny started getting Japanese lessons so he could talk to Kota himself.

When they teamed together, all they usually needed was a look to understand what needed to be done, meeting the other’s eyes, assessing their situation. Sometimes all they needed was a feeling, when they were in sync, when there was a loss of balance on a double team move that needed to be righted, a warning that an opponent was rushing towards them. There was a connection that neither man could quite describe that had formed the moment they’d seen each other for the first time. It only ever deepened as the years went by.

And when they kissed for the first time… Kota remembered the way Kenny blushed, mumbling embarrassedly in English as he averted his gaze afterwards, eyes shining with nervousness and happiness and hope… The way their lips fit together perfectly, even if it took them a few seconds to find the right angle, their teeth, bumping uncomfortably for a moment. And then a warmth that engulfed their very beings, that felt like perfection and completeness and dare they say  **_love_ ** at the time. And when Kenny finally looked at him again, seeing everything he was feeling reflected back at him in Kota’s eyes, he knew Kota was the only one.

Even after DDT, after Bullet Club, and especially after their reunion in Sapporo… All the years of being apart and longing and growing and falling and triumphing and waiting… That night of breaking down in each other’s arms as the crowd roared and red streamers fell from the ceiling, of not letting each other go for the rest of the night or the two years after that…

Kota knew there would never be anyone else.

XxX

Kenny hummed contently as he and Kota kissed, slowly, softly, Kota resting gently inside of Kenny and holding him close. How long had they been like this? An hour, maybe two? All Kota knew for sure was that moments like this made him truly cherish the time he and Kenny had together, where they could just exist together, taking their time to kiss and lay in each other’s arms and just  **be** .

_ “I’ve missed this,” _ Kenny whispered when they finally pulled away to breathe for a few minutes.  _ “Fuck, I’ve missed this.” _ They laughed quietly together at that.

_ “I’m sorry I’ve been taking so many bookings lately. I love being home with you, but I miss being in the ring so often.” _ Kenny raised an eyebrow at that.

_ “I remember you saying, when we first moved here, that you were so happy your body had more time to rest and recharge.” _ Kota playfully blew a raspberry into his shoulder, startling a loud and jovial laugh out of Kenny.

_ “And I was. I  _ **_am_ ** _. But I miss wrestling all the time, even if I’m grateful for the extra time to heal.” _ Kenny smiled, nuzzling Kota’s nose with his, letting out a soft, adorable sound.  _ “Kenny-tan…” _

_ “I’ve missed hearing you call me that,” _ he admitted, and Kota hummed curiously.  _ “Don’t get me wrong, when you started calling me by my real name…” _ Kenny smiled sweetly.  _ “I felt like my heart might burst out of my chest. I was so happy… But that nickname has always been something special to me, and it’s just so good to hear it again.” _

Kota gently kissed the corner of his mouth before pressing their foreheads together with a content sigh. The way he loved this man… Kenny laid a hand over his heart, feeling it beat in sync with his own, Kota’s hand finding his and taking it, intertwining their fingers, both of them counting the beats in the comfortable silence. _ One, two, three, four… _

_ “Mmm, I’ll have to say it more often then. If you’re getting back into a ring I need to be used to it again anyway.” _ Kenny’s next kiss was a bit more hesitant at that, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Kota. He met Kenny’s now unsure gaze, immediately apologizing.  _ “I’m sorry. You just got cleared. I know it’s too soon to be saying things like that.” _

_ “No, you’re fine! It’s just…” _ Kenny bit his lip in thought.  _ “Most of the American audience here probably doesn’t know who I am, and I’ve been gone a while. If I showed up on tv tomorrow… Would I even get a reaction? Would anyone remember me?” _ Kota sighed, cupping Kenny’s face and drawing his gaze.

_ “Kenny-tan… You were the most famous wrestler in the world over a year ago. Everyone knew who you were. Once New Japan signed that international tv deal, you were on people’s screens every week, especially in America. Every journalist wanted an interview with you. Every company wanted you to make a guest appearance.” _ He smiled gently.  _ “I can only imagine how loud a crowd would pop for you if you came back. You really shouldn’t worry.” _ Kenny looked to Kota in awe, and Kota laughed softly, kissing his cheek.  _ “But only when you’re comfortable and when you’re ready. There’s no rush.” _

Kota was right. And honestly, he’d done everything he’d set out to do in his career. If he’d  **had** to retire after his injury… The only thing that would’ve left a sour taste in his mouth is that he went out injured and not on his own terms. And it wasn’t like he was back in ring shape either. While his overall physical strength was almost back to what he’d like, his in-ring shape was  **awful** . His ring cardio needed work, and lots of it. His technique, after plenty of refreshers, was only at an acceptable level (which, for Kenny Omega, was still quite excellent). His knees ached, his shoulder occasionally twinged, his lower back might pull, but he felt much better than when he’d still been pretty active. If he were being honest, had he not gone out when he did that ring might have killed him.

The fans expectations of his matches and his own expectations were set so high that he would’ve run his body right into the ground and kept right on going. Taking that extra year instead of leaving with the rest of The Elite had definitely brought that to light for Kenny. He’d been in so much pain that year, but he’d pushed past it and ignored it as best as he could to keep delivering, keep performing. He’d scored another seven star match out of it, and a year of truly spectacular matches, so it hadn’t been a waste or anything of the sort. But he really should have taken a break when he had the chance. He supposed the world decided for him that he needed one.

_ “I’m nowhere near where I want to be if I were to get back in the ring. I still get tired too soon. My technique is still off. I’m making sloppy mistakes.” _

_ “It’s been more than a year. Of course you’d have ring rust. Give it time. You’ll get there. Besides, your in-ring cardio is still better than most people’s, and your technique is fine! You just need to get back into a match flow.” _

_ “You say that like it’s easy.” _

_ “It’s not, and it’s going to take a while, but you’ll get it. I know you will.” _ Kenny couldn’t help capturing Kota’s lips in a sweet, lingering kiss at that.

_ “I love you. Thank you for believing in me.” _ Kota kissed him back eagerly.

_ “I love you more. And always.” _ He glanced at the time on his phone before tossing it onto the nightstand next to Kenny’s, a few minutes after midnight.  _ “You have work tomorrow, and it’s late.” _ Kenny snuggled into Kota’s side at that, humming contently when he was comfortable.

_ “Night, Ibu-tan,” _ he whispered. Kota smiled, plopping a kiss in his wild curls and letting his eyes slip shut, listening to Kenny’s deep and even breaths as he drifted off to sleep.

XxX

“Oh, I never asked. How did the doctor’s visit go?” Adam asked him a few weeks later as they walked the halls after school one day, students scrambling to get to their cars or buses. Kenny’s smile brightened then. He’d been smiling pretty often this week, and Adam would not complain about the multitude of hugs he’d received along with them.

“It went great! All good things! No long term damage, no lingering injuries. Nothing bad as far as the scans showed.”

“That’s great! Congrats, man. I’m glad to hear it.” Kenny laughed softly, happily. “Is that why you’ve been so smiley this week?” Kenny’s expression softened then, his smile warm, sweet, gentle. He looked down at his wedding ring.

“I mean, I  **am** happy about that…”  _ If still a bit unsure about things, _ Kenny added in his head, but Adam didn’t need to know that. “But no. Um… It’s my husband and I’s first anniversary today.” Adam’s face lit up.

“Congrats, man!” Kenny grinned.

“Truth be told, I almost missed my first class today. I kind of… Lost track of time this morning.” Adam snickered, noticing the poorly concealed hickey peeking out from the top of his shirt right above his collarbone. Kenny followed his gaze and gave an undignified squeak as he saw, pulling his shirt up and fake glaring as Adam laughed. “Really?”

“It’s cute,” Adam told him. “I really am happy for you guys. After the last year has been for you, the two of you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

“Heh… My ESL students actually remembered the date. They weren’t surprised when I got there right before the bell rang. They’d made us things, and food. As a thank you for the year so far and a congrats to us.” He smiled fondly, looking back on the morning. “I actually Skyped him this morning because the kids were begging me to. They wanted to tell us both happy anniversary. He was so happy. We all just hung out for the morning. It was nice.”

“That’s really sweet of them. You two have any plans later?” Kenny shook his head.

“I mean…” Kenny blushed then, face extremely red as he stared down at his leather jacket. “Kind of, but not really?” Adam stifled the laugh bubbling up within him.

“Just remind him that you have classes to teach.”

“That’s never stopped him before.” Adam full on guffawed at that, drawing a few perplexed stares from straggler students as the building finished clearing. “For him, I  **have** to be careful because at his job it’s easy to see marks because of what he wears.” Kenny rolled his eyes. “Not that anyone would care or bring it up to him. Hickies are normal compared to what he usually gets up to.”

“Oh? And what does he usually get up to?”

“Let’s just say keep him away from any sort of fireworks.” Adam chuckled, Ibushi immediately coming to mind.

“I have a friend who’s the same way. Sweet guy. Has no fear. Kicks like a fucking horse.” Kenny chuckled with him. “Ibushi is something else, let me tell you.” Kenny’s eyes went wide, falling quiet. Adam fell silent as well, watching Kenny curiously.

“Ibushi?” Kenny asked. “Kota Ibushi?”

“Yeah. We met last year. Love him to death. Couldn’t talk to each other for the longest time. Now every time I see him he speaks more and more English. I don’t know how he learns so fast.”

“As much of a himbo as everyone thinks he is… He’s really a genius. A silly, wonderful, beautiful, breathtaking genius, in and out of the ring. He picks up on things so quickly.”

“You… You know him?” Kenny laughed softly, showing his phone lock screen. It was a bit of an older picture of the two of them, a little after they’d moved into their house. Kenny was pressing a tender kiss to Kota’s cheek, Kota nuzzling into his dark brown undyed curls, looking down at him lovingly, eyes shining. Adam let out a small gasp at the sight, heartwarmed with how happy the two looked and then stunned as it suddenly hit him. “It’s our one year anniversary today.”

“Holy shit,” Adam told him. “You—

“Surprise?” Kenny asked nervously. It took Adam a minute to gather his thoughts before he could speak again.

“How… In the hell… Did you land Kota Ibushi?” Kenny almost let out a breath of relief at that.

“I… Watched him wrestle… Twelve, thirteen-ish years ago. I fell in love, heh, as silly as that might sound. Dropped everything and flew halfway across the world to experience him for myself.” Kenny smiled, feeling a huge wave of nostalgia. “We were together from there.”

“That’s… Holy shit.” They laughed at each other. “I… Have a lot of questions.”

“It’s… A long story.” Kenny ran a hand through his hair. “One that I’ll be happy to tell one day when we’re all together to fill in the details… And now I’ve got some questions of my own.”

XxX

Kenny playfully kissed at Kota’s traps, both of them panting in the afterglow of their  _ busy _ evening as Kenny laid on top of him. How many rounds had they gone now? They’d both lost count at this point. Kota hummed contently, gasping as Kenny shifted, pulling out and flopping over beside him with a satisfied sigh.

“Fuck…” Kota giggled, rolling over to face him.

_ “We  _ **_could_ ** _ do more of that,” _ he commented, and Kenny rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t hold back his lovestruck smile.

_ “True, but we’ve already done a lot of that today.” _ In addition to a beautiful home cooked candle lit dinner, slow dancing in the living room, and a lot of sweet nothings in between what had started out as chaste, sweet kisses. Kenny captured his lips once again, Kota cupping his face gently and tucking a stray curl behind his ear.

_ “I love you,” _ Kota whispered when they pulled back, Kenny’s heart melting at that.

_ “I love you more than anything,” _ he replied, breathless with awe. 

They kissed for a little while longer, grinding up against each other, soft moans and shaky breaths filling the air. Kenny came first, burying his face in the crook of Kota’s neck with a deep, guttural moan, Kota following soon after. They clung to each other for a few moments before Kota plopped a kiss in his curls and got up to grab a wet washcloth. Kenny chuckled smugly as Kota limped a bit, Kota nailing him in the face with it when he returned from the bathroom. Kenny cleaned them both up gently, slowly, stealing another lingering kiss afterwards.

_ “What is it? You look like you have something on your mind.” _ He always knew. Kota could read him like a book  **blindfolded.**

_ “Stevie says he knows you. We were talking earlier, and he said you two were friends.” _ Kota grinned.

_ “Ah. So have you two finally talked about everything?” _ Kenny looked to him, puzzled. What did Kota know that he didn’t?

_ “What do you mean about everything? I mean, he knows we’re married now, I guess, but that’s about it.” _ Kota groaned overdramatically at that, face planting into a pillow for a few moments before lifting his head to look at Kenny again.

_ “How? How can you both possibly…” _ He shook his head fondly.  _ “I’ll take that as a no.” _

_ “What do you know that we don’t?!” _ Kota smirked.

_ “You really have no idea who he is?” _ Kenny seemed even more lost, and Kota gave him a break.  _ “The next time you see him, ask him about ROH.” _ Kenny did remember the ROH poster hanging from Adam’s desk. But what did that have to do with…  _ “I still can’t believe…” _

_ “That’s all you’re gonna give me?” _ Kota nodded as if it were obvious.  _ “What am I supposed to do with that?” _

_ “You’re clever, Tyson. You’ll figure it out.” _

Even though Kota knew fully well just how oblivious Kenny could be at times. Adam too apparently. Hmm… Maybe he needed to help them both out a little more. He and Adam were tagging again this week…

_ “That’s what you always say, and it’s always about something that’s staring me right in the face too.” _

Kenny had no idea.


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

A/N: Aaahhh sorry for the long wait! I hope everyone had a good Christmas if you celebrate it, and that everyone else has had a lovely holiday season with the holiday(s) they celebrate as well! If you’re in or near DC I hope you’re staying safe, and I hope everyone’s staying safe and healthy through the New Year so far. <3 There’s a little bit of everything in this one, so let’s just get right to it! :)

  
  


Cincinnati, Ohio

The First Show

Backstage

Kota warmed up a bit anxiously before his first indie show in the States. Kenny had gone with him to meet with the promoter of the company whose card he was on tonight as a translator. Kenny had started teaching him English when they’d moved and Kota decided he wanted to travel and wrestle around before signing anywhere, and while it wasn’t easy he found himself enjoying it more than he thought he would. Of course, he still didn’t understand a lot, which made communicating difficult, but he was managing. He had a tag match tonight, with a partner who definitely didn’t speak Japanese. Adam Page, he thought the man’s name was. He was a popular wrestler from this side of the States, he’d been told: experienced, kind, and reliable. Kota had no complaints.

“Holy crap, it’s actually you,” a voice whispered in awe. Kota looked up from where he was doing push-ups, getting to his feet. “Shit, um… Hi. We’re partners tonight.” He held out his hand. “Adam Page. It’s an honor.” Kota shook it after a moment of hesitation, slightly shocked. “I just wanted to come by and welcome you. We’re all happy to have you here. I can’t wait for the match. Should be a blast.”

Kota only understood about every third or fourth word, much to his frustration, but he could tell by the look on Adam’s face that he was excited and also a little nervous? He smiled at him, nodding. And Adam let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry I don’t speak Japanese. It’s been on my to-do list to learn a little. I’ve been kind of… Side-tracked, I guess.” Adam averted his eyes sheepishly. “Fuck. Now I’m rambling…”

Kota put a hand on his shoulder in comfort as he watched Adam’s face fall, and Adam smiled appreciatively, sadly. He seemed nervous around him, and he also seemed to be remembering something not so pleasant. Kota couldn’t offer as much comfort as he’d like, but he’d offer what he could. He laid his head on Adam’s shoulder, hesitantly wrapping him in a loose embrace. Adam froze for a few moments before returning it with a shaky sigh.

“Thanks.” Kota hummed in response, pulling back when they heard the bell ring, signalling the end of the match before theirs. They looked at each other, smiling. “It’s us next. You ready?” Kota nodded, and the two headed for the curtain.

Kenny had asked a friend if they could make him a new theme since New Japan owned the rights to Golden Star, and Mikey Rukus had written something absolutely  **beautiful** . Adam was out first, to an ecstatic reaction from the crowd, a few hundred by the looks of it behind the curtain. Then Kota’s music hit. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment and preparing himself. Would the people know who he was? Would they want him here? Would he have to start all over with the fans? He walked out from backstage.

And the room  **_exploded._ **

He couldn’t hear anything over the cheers and screams and chanting of his name. Adam grinned widely at Kota’s shocked face, holding the ropes open for him when he got to the ring. He took a moment to look around at everyone, really soak in the reaction, and he couldn’t help but laugh at how nervous he’d been. He climbed up on the top rope to pose, smile wide and bright. His match with Adam went wonderfully. Their chemistry was lively, fun, and a little chaotic, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. They grinned at each other when Kota got the pin, their hands raised high in the middle of the ring as the crowd raved.

He’d missed this.

XxX

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask…” Kenny began, he and Adam, walking through the grocery store together after an eventful school day. April was fast approaching, and the weather was warming up. Kenny had on a well worn Kota Ibushi shirt and a pair of peach colored shorts. Adam was in a sunset themed short sleeved button down and dark shorts. Kenny needed to pick up some project supplies for his Japanese students, and it had been far too long since Adam had been grocery shopping. “About that ROH poster on your desk.” Adam paused a few steps ahead, glancing at the high prices of coffee with a frown, Kenny pushing the cart.

“Oh, that? Yeah, I got it after my first show there. Well… First show where I was actually on the card, I guess.” Kenny’s eyes went wide, jaw dropped, and Adam quickly realized what he’d said, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He watched Kenny carefully as he responded.

“You were a wrestler?” Adam was surprised at the  **awe** in Kenny’s voice, the bright, excited, child-like wonder in his eyes. That sinking feeling was quickly replaced by hope, hope that Kenny wouldn’t think any less of him, treat him any differently now that he knew.

“I… Yeah. Still am, actually. Part-time while I’m teaching. That bruise you saw the other week? Rough missile dropkick that sent me all the way across the ring. I didn’t even know dropkicks could leave bruises before that.” Kenny went from gaping to grinning in the blink of an eye.

“Holy shit! That makes me wonder if I’ve ever seen any of your matches. I was at a lot of ROH shows for a while with the Bucks, but I don’t know if I ever saw you there.” They continued through the store.

“I… Didn’t know you liked wrestling so much,” Adam replied when he could finally remember how words worked.

Kenny had never talked that passionately about anything to him before, except maybe Kota. Video games, fitness, teaching, everything else seemed to pale in comparison to this. Fuck, nooo. There was that sad smile again! Although, when Adam looked closer there was something different about it. Instead of hopeless, it was more… Unsure. Scared wasn’t the word he was looking for. Torn maybe?

“Wrestling… Was my life. For years.” He grabbed different colored tissue paper from the crafts section and placed it in the cart. “When I got hurt… I didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. I don’t feel the same way now. There are companies I watch and keep up with. And Kota’s my whole world. He still wrestles, and I support him as best I can. It’s just… Hard, sometimes. Remembering how things used to be.”

“What were you… How did you get hurt?”

Adam changed his question halfway through, trying to approach this carefully.  _ What were you doing when you got hurt? _ he’d wanted to ask. Had Kenny been a wrestler, a manager, ringside crew, an unlucky fan? It was hard to imagine him as anything other than a teacher, even if he looked more than capable of going in the ring. Kenny sighed, stopping them at the end of the aisle, which happened to be next to a shelf full of AEW figures. Kenny smiled softly at the Kota Ibushi figure staring at him, throwing it in the cart for the heck of it. Kota had mentioned a new line of figures had just hit stores…

“It’s a long story. Not really one I want to tell in the middle of a store.” He said it with that same smile, and Adam nodded.

“Sorry. I keep bringing it up somehow, and I don’t mean to.”

“No, it’s okay.” He smiled apologetically. “So… You got back into teaching after you got hurt?”

“Yeah. Same for you? Well, got into teaching anyway.”

“Yeah.” There was an awkward silence between them for a few minutes as they rounded up the rest of the things they needed throughout the store. They paid for their things and loaded everything into their respective cars. Kenny sighed, looking away guiltily as he came back from putting the cart up. “I didn’t mean to make things weird, back in there.”

“No, you’re fine! I… To be honest, the reason I never wanted to bring it up… Well, one reason anyway… Is just because whenever I tell people I’m a wrestler… It usually turns them away from me.” Kenny looked at him then, in disbelief. “They never say it out loud, but I can just hear them thinking to themselves, “Why would you waste your life away doing something like that?” I can see it in their eyes, in their forced polite smiles. They judge me and they look at me differently. Not everyone has been like that, but most people… Most people have. I know you aren’t that kind of person, but…” He trailed off, and Kenny felt his heart break seeing the guilty look on Adam’s face.

“But?”

“But I didn’t want to lose the only real close friend I had here. I didn’t want to weird you out and drive you away somehow. I know it’s stupid…”

“It’s not,” Kenny assured him. “Really, it isn’t. I… Wrestling used to be a sensitive topic for me. I’d steer clear of any mention of it when I could. But I’ve learned to love it again, even if it’s from afar.” He smiled sadly, gaze wistful then. “I was a wrestler once. Damn good at it too. Now I don’t know what I am.” More pieces clicked into place for Adam.

“Didn’t you say your doctor’s visit went well though?”

“Better than I ever could’ve hoped for! It’s just… A lot. It’s been a while. I just don’t know who I am anymore.” Kenny unlocked his car, seemingly torn between getting in and escaping the strange atmosphere and staying to continue the conversation. Adam noticed.

“I don’t know you as well as I’m sure a lot of other people do. But I know what I know. You’re kind. You work hard. You care,  **so much,** about the things that are important to you. You want to make a difference in people’s lives. You want to help people, make them smile. And you’re someone who’s been through so much, but always finds a reason to keep going and keep making the world a better place.” Kenny looked to him in awe, eyes watering slightly. “That’s the Tyson Smith I know, at least.” Adam unlocked his own car, averting his eyes when he saw the way Kenny was looking at him. Aaahhh, he’d said too much again, hadn’t he? Shit.

“Stevie…”

“I’ve… Gotta pack and head out tonight. I’ve got a match tomorrow.” Kenny was at his side in an instant, turning him around and pulling him into a tight hug that Adam immediately returned. It was warm, comforting, and too many things Adam didn’t know how to describe. The tension in the air faded, and he couldn’t help the happy feeling in his gut. He sighed contently, smiling softly.

“Thank you. For being you. For being my friend.” He pulled back with a smirk. “Good luck in your match tomorrow. Try not to get too beat up, cowboy.” Adam chuckled.

“I’d like to see you take on one of the best tag teams in the world and not get  _ too beat up.” _ Thankfully it was about to be the weekend, so if he  **did** get his ass handed to him he’d at least have a little time to recover.

“Trust me, I know it’s impossible. I’m messing with you.” He grinned. “Seriously though, be careful out there. And do your best.”

“I never give anything less,” Adam assured him as they both got in their cars. They separated and went their ways, waving goodbye as they got to their respective streets.

XxX

_ “But neither of you asked about the other person’s ring name?” _ Kota flopped onto the couch dramatically, sighing loudly, reaction completely over the top. Kenny pouted, taking a seat on one of the couch arms and looking down at Kota pleadingly.

_ “You know, you could just tell me who he is. Save yourself the aggravation…” _ Kota glared at him halfheartedly.

_ “That’s no fun. And you could just as easily ask him. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind telling you.” _ Kenny groaned overdramatically.

_ “But it’s easier to ask you!” _

__ “Sorry. No speak Japanese,” Kota told him with a straight face, parroting Shinsuke for a moment before they both burst into laughter.

“I—What?” Kenny tumbled into Kota’s lap with a chuckle, making himself comfortable as Kota wrapped him up in his arms. “You’re ridiculous sometimes, you know that?”

“You love it,” Kota replied.

His accent was still a bit thick, but one could understand him clearly. His English had come a long way in the almost year since they’d moved, further than either of them thought it would in such a short amount of time. But Kota lived to surprise Kenny in the best ways at every turn. Kenny hummed happily, softly kissing his cheek.

“I do. And I love you.” He kissed the other cheek, eyes warm and bright as Kota blushed a little. “But you still won’t tell me?”

“It is not my secret to tell. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want me telling him who you are either.” Kenny opened and then quickly shut his mouth at that. “Just talk to him. Please?” Kenny met his gaze, absolutely head over heels as he smiled gently.

“For you, I’d do anything,” he whispered, and Kota leaned forward to capture his lips softly, pressing their foreheads together when they barely pulled back. “I’ll ask him when he gets back in town. He said he had a lot of shows this week.”

“Mmm…” Kota kissed lightly along his jaw, sucking a bruise onto the back of his neck that had Kenny melting.

_ “I-Ibu-tan…” _

“Your hair will cover it. It’s fine.”

“Yeah, you said my shirt would cover the other one too…” Kota could hardly hold back his laugh at that, not prepared for Kenny to playfully attack his neck, leaving a trail of love bites to about the middle of his chest. Kota looked at them in shock while Kenny smirked, though he felt slightly guilty. “Lucky you’re not wrestling on Wednesday, huh? Make-up would have a fit.”

“They’ve learned to stop being surprised,” Kota answered when he recovered, shaking his head and grinning fondly.

“That’s a shame. You’re always full of surprises,” Kenny replied, turning over after prying himself out of Kota’s grip to face him. “Most of them good.”

“So are you.” His legs slowly wrapped around Kenny’s waist to pull them closer together, and Kenny hummed in approval, cupping Kota’s face and bringing their lips back together, slow and full of emotion. “And I hope that never changes.”

XxX

It had been a while since he and Adam hadn’t spent lunch together. Adam had texted him late last night that he wouldn’t be at school, and was staying overnight at a hospital after a concussion check, as a precaution. It had only been a few months, but Kenny missed his presence immensely. A call from the Bucks kept lunch from being too lonely. It had been so long since the three of them had been together in the same room. Sometimes Kenny would daydream about days on the road, whether it be catching a meal before and after shows, the long bus and plane rides full of mischief and sleepless nights, car rides full of laughter and smiles. If there was one thing he missed almost as much as wrestling itself it was moments like that.

**“Hey, keep an eye out on Dynamite the next few weeks. There’s a huge surprise coming that I think you’ll like,”** Matt told him. Oh?

“And why do you say that?”

**“Oh, I don’t know. Just a feeling. Trust me. You’ll like it. And no, Kota doesn’t know anything about it either, so you can’t ask him!”** Kenny knew a cheeky, confident grin when he saw one.

“Alright, you caught me! But you won’t give me  **any** hints? Not even just one? The teensiest, little, tiny hint?” Matt narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Kenny’s playful tone, one he hadn’t heard from him in a long time.

**“Turning up the charm won’t work on me this time, Tyson, and you know it won’t.”**

“Ah, but it always does, dear Matt. You know you’ve never been able to resist this handsome face.” Kenny made the most  _ innocent _ of smiley faces before sticking his tongue out. Nick snickered off camera and Matt failed to stifle a laugh. Kenny joined in, grin lighting up his face in a beautiful way.

**“I don’t think handsome’s the right word, you goofball,”** Nick told him affectionately, peeking onto his screen.

**“Not a strong enough word,”** Matt clarified with a smirk before it softened to a smile.  **“It’s so good to see you so happy again, man. You really had us scared for a little while.”**

“You can thank Stevie and Kota for that. Without them… I don’t know what kind of person I’d be right now.” Kenny’s smile softened to something gentle and loving while the Bucks gaped.

**“You know Adam?”** Matt asked.

**“I mean, we know Stevie lives close and you guys work at the same place, but I didn’t know you guys hung out or anything.”** Nick looked slightly concerned, as did Matt.

**“What has he told you?”** Kenny looked between them in confusion. Adam? Stevie telling him… What exactly?

“About?” The Bucks let out sighs of relief at that.

**“Oh good. We were worried…”** Kenny kept looking at Matt, feeling more and more lost.

“Why does everyone know something that I don’t? What am I missing here?”

**“Nothing! Um, nothing super important, anyway.”** Matt answered that way too quickly, but Kenny wouldn’t push him on it.

“Right.” He checked the time. “Class is gonna start soon, so I have to let you two go.”

**“Alright. Love you, man. We’ll try to drop by soon, okay? We can all hang out for a while, like the good old days.”**

“Can’t wait! Take care of yourselves, okay?” Kenny told them with a little wave.

**“No promises.”** Kenny rolled his eyes at Nick, but couldn’t help smiling.  **“See ya later.”**

His Japanese class went by rather quickly. He got lost in being able to help his students with their work and talking a little about what living in Japan during spring was like. And for the first time in a long time… He didn’t feel so sad when he spoke about back then. When the bell rang to signal the end of the day the entire classroom was shocked at how fast the time had gone by. Kenny couldn’t help feeling heartwarmed at how reluctant some of his students were to leave. He took his time getting his things together, not paying attention when he walked out the door—

—Right into Adam.

Adam stumbled back a step, and Kenny quickly grabbing his arm kept him from falling. Their eyes met and Kenny made an alarmed noise at the nasty black eye Adam was sporting and the stitches he spied that he’d tried to cover with his hair. He cupped his face and looked at them closer, clearly distressed, and Adam laughed quietly.

“I’m okay, Tyson,” Adam promised. “A bit banged up, but okay.”

“I—But why are you here?” Adam turned his head and beckoned, and Kota stepped into view with a grin. Kenny’s gaze immediately softened. “Ibu-tan…” Adam’s eyes went wide at that.

_ “He called, asked me to come get him. He didn’t feel safe driving. We would’ve gotten here a bit sooner, but some of your ESL students saw us and we talked for a few minutes,” _ Kota replied.

_ “I’m glad they got to see you! I was going to ask you to come in one day if you were up to it next week since you just have Dynamite.” _

Kenny looked back at Adam, who was staring at him in shock, averting his eyes at the intensity of his gaze. Adam observed him and tried to figure out how he’d never put the pieces together until now. Well, actually  **watching** New Japan probably would’ve made it so much easier. He’d only seen a few stray matches, some that Matt and Nick had recommended here and there. He almost didn’t recognize him without the blonde hair, the dark tights, his confident and assured strut and determined fire in his eyes.

“Ibu… Tan. There’s only one person that calls him that.” Kota looked between the two of them nervously. Kenny smiled sheepishly, meeting Adam’s now curious and… Respectful gaze. “You’re… The best wrestler in the world… And I didn’t even realize it this entire time.”

“Surprise,” Kenny told him, laughing softly, blushing. “Ahhh, no one’s called me that in a while. If anyone deserves that name now, it’s Ibu, not me.”

“I… I have so much I want to ask you. If that’s okay! I-It’s just that… A lot more makes sense now, and…”

“You deserve to know,” Kenny replied. “You’ve never tried to pressure me to talk about it, but I know you’ve always been curious. You could’ve kept pushing and nagging until I broke, but you didn’t. You… Understood, and you were there when I needed someone, when Kota couldn’t be. So thank you.”

“You mentioned having him over for dinner before,” Kota added, catching their attention. “Maybe tonight?” Kenny and Adam looked at each other.

“I mean… Do you have anywhere to be later?” Adam shook his head.

“No. I was just planning on going home. Are you guys sure you don’t mind having me over?”

“Of course not. He kept asking when I’d have you over for the longest time. And I have questions too! If… If you don’t mind, that is.”

“Um, yeah! Not at all.”

Kota watched the two of them chatter a bit more, unable to help the way his heart melted at how… Happy they both were. He’d seen them both at their lowest, and now to see them like this… He grinned again.

“If you two keep flirting I’ll end up eating dinner all by myself,” Kota joked. Adam turned to him in alarm, stumbling over an apology, and Kenny playfully glared at him. Kota couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have both of them in his life.


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

A/N: Longer chapter this time! So, so sorry for the long delay. There were so many points where I got stuck and did rewrites because things didn’t read how I wanted them to. It’s a lot better than the first draft, but still not great. I’m so sorry if this one’s a bit everywhere; I'm not too confident on this one. :( Starting off with an angsty flashback and a less angsty and more comforting flashback before our boys start preparing dinner.

  
  


Japan

The Injury

Late January

Kenny was in a foul mood today, Kota noticed. He had a little more energy than usual, which would’ve made him happy if there wasn’t a seemingly permanent scowl on his face, deep furrows in his brow, a tense angriness to his body language. There was frustration and fury, and then the usual despairing and dark cloud layered beneath it today. Kota took a deep breath. There wasn’t a lot that made him angry, and he and Kenny never truly argued about much. But Kenny also knew him better than anyone, so if anyone knew what buttons to press and how to press them it was him, especially when he wasn’t himself. Today might be a long day.

It had been a few weeks since Kenny had gotten the news about his injuries, since surgery and a new life at home. Some days he was okay, greeting the day with a halfway hopeful smile, every bit the sweet, cheerful, wonderful man Kota knew. But he didn’t even need a whole hand to count how many days had been like that. Most of the days were when he would wake up to see Kenny staring up at the ceiling, or out of the window, an inescapable sadness and hopelessness clear in his eyes and in his expression. He would look to Kota with the saddest of smiles and apologize in the smallest voice. Kota would take him in his arms and tell him not to apologize, that he had nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes Kenny would bury his face in his chest or his shoulder with a soft sigh. Sometimes there were silent tears.

On those days, Kenny would admit that he hadn’t had the energy or the want to get out of bed, and Kota would gently coax him up, help him start his day, whisper encouragement and start up conversation when Kenny stilled or started to look too lost in thought. He was there with a reassuring smile, a gentle hug, a soft kiss. They would take walks around town, and Kenny would hardly be able to look up from his feet, memories of happier times taunting him everywhere he looked. So Kota would take his hand and draw his gaze, make sure he never stumbled or ran into anything, kept him from getting lost in more ways than one. And when Kenny had a lot on his mind he would listen and do what he could to make sure Kenny knew he was heard and understood, that he wasn’t alone.

Kenny said  _ I love you _ more often then. He thanked Kota profusely whenever he would do something for him or help him in any way. He was both more reserved and more open about things. He hid as much of his inner feelings as he could, the dark and awful things his brain thought and heart felt day in and day out. But he also let Kota know the smaller things that were weighing on him sometimes, the ones at the forefront of his mind. Smaller worries that he felt confident enough to bring to light and talk about. And as much as it hurt Kota to see him bottle up so much and reveal so little it made him feel relieved that Kenny at least shared some of what he was feeling inside, even if that small something barely scratched the surface of his true inner turmoil. If Kenny were silent and refused to open up Kota didn’t think he could bear it.

And that’s what today was shaping up to be, a day where Kenny wore his anger and frustration as armor against the hurt. Against Kota. Kota walked into the kitchen of their apartment, sensing the tension in the air and fighting his instinct to be on his guard. This was Kenny, not an opponent who would blindside him at any given opportunity, in or out of the ring. But maybe Kota should’ve kept his guard up and kept up that way of thinking for the day. Kenny certainly didn’t hold back.

_ “How are you feeling?” _ Kota asked gently. Kenny looked up from the bowl of yakisoba he was making, an annoyed expression on his face.

_ “Peachy,” _ Kenny replied, voice thick with sarcasm, smile false and cutting.  _ “Life is absolutely perfect! Couldn’t be better!” _

_ “Do you want to talk about it?” _

Kenny slammed his chopsticks down on the counter then, breaking one of them, scowling at Kota with the coldest look Kenny had ever given him. Even when he was at the height of the Cleaner era he was never like this with him. It was almost like he was staring at a complete hostile stranger.

_ “No, I don’t wanna fucking talk about it.” _

Kota knew Kenny was only directing his anger at him. He wasn’t angry  _ because _ of him. At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself in that moment. He honestly wasn’t sure. Kenny’s emotions were usually tangible to him. They understood each other in ways that transcended words. A look, a touch, could say more than an entire conversation. That thought was usually comforting. But today it was stifling and choking and everything just felt  **_wrong._ **

_ “Okay.” _

Soft and gentle, with what was usually in reassurance was today in… Kota didn’t know what he was trying to convey. Understanding perhaps, but hurt was clouding his mind more than anything at the moment. Hurt from Kenny’s words and harsh tone yes, but mostly hurt that Kenny was in such a dark place that he was in such a state. Hurt that he couldn’t do more to make Kenny smile, breathe in relief, relax, think about the good things in life instead of the things that weighed on his mind and heart.

Kenny huffed, finishing making his bowl and taking it to the table, gracelessly almost falling into the seat, grabbing Kota’s chopsticks to eat after tossing his in the trash. Kota didn’t say another word, making himself a cup of coffee and making a mental reminder to find where he put his set of spare pairs of chopsticks later.

It was later on when the levee broke and everything came spilling out. Kenny was sat in the middle of their bed with his head in his hands, facing the window, knees pulled up to his chest, seething. Kota hesitated when he came into the room. He’d given Kenny his space since this morning. It was late afternoon now. Slowly Kota approached, door closing quietly behind him and alerting Kenny to his presence. Kenny barely turned his head, enough to let Kota know he knew he was there. Kota climbed up on the bed behind him, wrapping his arms loosely around Kenny’s chest—

Only for Kenny to angrily push him away with a growl, Kota rolling through to his feet as he narrowly avoided landing on his neck as he tumbled to the floor from the force of it. And he stood there. For months, years, eons, he had no clue. Touch. It was something that had always been there between them, something fundamental and essential to their relationship. An:  _ I love you, I’m here for you, are you okay, don’t give up, breathe, everything’s going to be alright, hi, you’re not alone, _ and so many other things wrapped in one. Before they could speak to each other properly body language was everything:  **touches** were everything. And now they didn’t even have that. And it  **_hurt._ **

Kenny looked over his shoulder, snarling at Kota just stood there with his eyes slightly off center of him, staring at the space beside him as his thoughts spiraled a bit. Kenny turned his body around, wincing at the way his ACL twinged.

_ “Why the fuck are you still standing there?” _ Kota looked at him then, held his gaze with as straight a face as he could manage. But Kenny saw through him. Of course he did. He always did.  _ “You always want to fix everything. You always want to handle me like I’m made of glass, like I can’t do things on my own like an adult! All you do every day is look at me with pity. You play nice when you’re probably just laughing on the inside. Happy that there’s no competition anymore, that there’s no one holding you back, no one stealing your spotlight. You must be so proud to be the one everyone depends on! Poor, oblivious Ibushi.” _

Kota gritted his teeth, keeping his hands loose instead of balling them into fists. Kenny was trying to get a rise out of him, that much he knew from his words: a mix of angry admissions, self doubts, and insults. Kota held his ground, and it only angered Kenny further.

_ “You think you’re so much better, don’t you? The great Kota Ibushi, calm, cool, collected. Healthy, on top of the world, adored by everyone.” _ Kenny scoffed bitterly.  _ “You waste your time babying someone who doesn’t need it. You waste your time trying to cure a disease that keeps on evolving faster than you can keep up. You try to fix a person that just keeps breaking more and more every day. You try and you try to make everything seem okay when you’re really just making the suffering worse. “Things will get better,” you say. “I’m always going to be here for you,” you say.  _ **_Bullshit!_ ** _ All it takes is one wrong move, one misstep, one wrong word, and you’ll be out that door like everyone else.” _

_ “You’re wrong,” _ Kota told him quietly.  _ “I know what you’re doing. And I’m not going anywhere.” _

_ “Oh, is that so? You know what I’m doing, do you? Have you let the becoming God talk go to your head? Are you suddenly omniscient? Should I be bowing, or, or making offerings?” _ Kenny glared in disgust.  _ “Admit it. You despise having to waste your precious time looking after a depressed cripple who can’t even get himself out of bed most days! You could be wrestling, going out with friends, living an actual life, but you’re stuck inside all the time having to coddle and assure  _ **_poor, pathetic me_ ** _ that  _ **_it’s okay.”_ ** He spat those last few words.  _ “Poor Kenny and his stupid fucked up shoulder. Poor Kenny and that dark, hopeless cloud hanging over his head. Poor Kenny and his hobbling around, his crying, his apologizing, his rambling and his sad, shitty soul!” _

_ “Stop.” _ Kota barely whispered it, but Kenny heard him, a shark-like grin appearing on his face.

_ “Why? Because I’m right?” _ His laugh, if one could even call it that, was dark, twisted, hollow, and closer to a sob than anything else.  _ “It would be so easy to just throw me out onto the streets, kick me while I’m down, tell me I’m nothing, to just give up any hopes of living the life I used to have.” _ Kenny was crying then, tears streaming down his face as he laughed at himself.  _ “It would be so easy to just turn your back on me. I can hardly get out of bed most mornings. I’d probably just wander until my legs gave out and lay there, in the middle of nowhere, no other person in sight. No one would care. The world doesn’t. I don’t. You shouldn’t either.” _

_ “I will  _ **_never_ ** _ stop caring, Kenny-tan.” _

_ “Don’t call me that!” _ Kenny yelled at him.

_ “Lover.” _ Kota began, taking a step forward.  _ “Soulmate.” _ Another step.  _ “Life tag team partner. My other half. The one who understands me more than anyone. The one I would do anything for. The one who holds my heart.” _ Kota was in front of him now, sitting across from him on the bed, barely any space between them. He took Kenny’s hands in his.  _ “The one that I will  _ **_never_ ** _ give up on, even if he gives up on me.” _

_ “I…” _ Kenny could hardly form words, anger fading and quickly being replaced by horror. _ “I haven’t… That’s not…” _

_ “I  _ **_know,_ ** _ Kenny-tan. I know. It’s okay.” _

_ “How… How can you even look at me right now? I-I’ve snapped at you, pushed you away, said awful, awful things…” _

_ “Because I know you’re upset, at yourself, at the world. There’s so much you can’t control, that you can’t fix, that can’t be solved with time, bad jokes, and more than a few sleepless nights. Your whole world collapsed in an instant and you didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to what you used to have. You hate that all you ever feel is hopeless and lost and devastated beyond words. You hate that you’re causing others worry, that they have to help take care of you sometimes. You hate that you can’t do more and that you’re not in a good place. You’ve lost your purpose, the thing that gave life meaning, and it kills you a little more inside every day.” _ Kota squeezed his hands gently.  _ “I know what that’s like. And I promised myself that I would never let anyone struggle through an endless darkness and soul crushing despair alone like I did.” _

_ “Ibu… Why?”  _ Kenny sobbed.

_ Why would you put yourself through all of this? Why would you stay when you could leave and live a perfect life? Why would you want to help put a broken shell of the man you used to know back together when neither of you have all the pieces and you don’t even know what the puzzle looks like? Why waste your life away for someone who couldn’t ever repay you for it? Why couldn’t you be hurt, angry? Why do you cry with me? Why is your first instinct to comfort and reassure when you have every opportunity to poke fun, mock, insult, and drag me down further? Why don’t you run away? Why do you stay? _ All of those thoughts raced through Kenny’s mind before Kota gently took Kenny’s face in his hands, smiling through tears as their eyes met.

_ “Because I love you.” _ Kenny broke down then, sobbing out desperate apologies and pleas for forgiveness, clinging to Kota as if he were the only thing keeping him afloat in a raging sea, tears soaking Kota’s shirt as Kota held him close.  _ “Shhh. Don’t apologize. It’s okay. We’re okay.” _

_ “I pushed you away, tried to make you mad and get you to leave…” _ Kenny choked back a sob.  _ “You’ve wasted s-so much time having to deal with me. You deserve better. You deserve so m-much better than me!” _

_ “There is no one I want and need more than you,” _ Kota told him vehemently.  _ “I’m not wasting my time. Someone I love more than anything is in a really bad place, and I’m not just going to leave them.” _

Kota laid them down when Kenny quieted, Kenny’s face tucked into the crook of his neck. And they just breathed. Felt. Kenny listened to Kota’s heartbeat, still racing slightly from earlier, but steady, strong, constant. Kenny hesitantly placed Kota’s hand over his heart. Its beat was frantic and fast, but it calmed just a little bit more with each passing second in his arms. They listened to the way the wind blew through the trees outside, the hustle and bustle of the city through the cracked window.

Kenny was still very much broken inside. And that was okay. His road to okay, much less truly happy, barely existed, a plan in the works with the land hardly cleared and prepped to build it. But the plans were there and that was something. Neither of them really knew what they were doing, only knew that as long as they had each other they were doing something right and making progress, however slow and miniscule it may be.

Kota plopped a soft kiss into his curls, and Kenny hummed adorably in response, drawing a giggle out of Kota that made Kenny smile slightly against his skin. One step at a time. One day at a time.

Together.

XxX

Charlotte, North Carolina

After the Departure

Early June

Adam was quieter than usual, Kota noticed. Every time they saw each other he was usually greeted with a smile and a hug. Today… Today was much different. Adam was silent, often staring off into space, occasionally coming back to himself with a confused shake of his head before his eyes glazed over again with a cold hopelessness that reminded Kota way too much of how Kenny had been after he’d first gotten hurt. They still had a few hours before the show started, but Adam looked completely out of it.

“Page-san,” Kota called out to him, shaking his shoulder gently. Adam startled, looking around before his eyes fell on Kota with a guilty expression.

“W-What? Sorry. I’m… It’s not really… Been a good week for me.” It never really was, but this week, for whatever reason, had been especially bad.

Most weeks Adam couldn’t go more than a day or two without a drink… Or several. The memories would come at the worst of times. Like now. Adam knew the drinking only made things worse. But he couldn’t find it in himself to do anything else when he started to spiral, didn’t know what else he could do. It was a vicious, never-ending cycle. He’d avoided alcohol because he knew that he and Kota had a big match tonight, one that had thousands more eyes watching than usual. But what he wouldn’t give for a strong glass of whiskey right about now.

Kota kneeled down in front of him, hands on Adam’s shoulders, head tilted to the side curiously. Adam observed his expression for any sign of anger or frustration or, God forbid,  _ pity. _ But… All he found was concern and a look asking if he wanted to talk about it. He gave a small, grateful smile, leaning his head against Kota’s shoulder with a shaky sigh.

“I lost a lot at the beginning of the year. The girl I loved, my career for a little while, and… The reason I thought I had for doing all this. I’m just… Lost, and lonely, and I don’t know what to do, how to live, anymore. I want to be better. I want to get back what I lost, or find something new that’s even better. But I don’t know where to start or if it’s even possible. I’m just a mess. Everyday it hurts just a little more. Everyday I try to find where it all went wrong and I just… Can’t.” Adam sniffled as a tear fell, then another. He quickly pulled back to wipe them away. “Sorry. You probably don’t understand a lot of what I’m saying. I didn’t mean to vent.” Kota shook his head, smiling gently.

He understood a little more now with Kenny teaching him. Lost, lonely, hurt. Wanting to be better and find his mistakes. Losing someone you love. Losing himself, in a way. Kota wiped away another tear before Adam could do it himself with a reassuring smile, and Adam let out a soft gasp, trying to smile back. Kota sat next to him then, letting Adam rest his head on his shoulder, pulling him into a loose side hug. They stayed that way for a while, Kota idly scrolling or tapping at his phone when he felt Adam slump against him, soft snores filling the otherwise quiet venue room.

Kota was typing out a reply to a text from Kenny asking what he wanted to do that weekend (a walk through downtown with dinner and then a lazy next day in was looking like the plan at the moment) when Adam woke up with a soft groan, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He finished and sent it shortly after, putting his phone away and meeting Adam’s now clear and focused gaze.

“I… Haven’t slept that well in… I can’t even remember, it’s been so long.” His expression turned grateful, his voice soft. “Thank you.” Kota nodded with a gentle smile, taking his arm back as Adam checked the time. “Plenty of time to get dressed and warm up.”

Kota watched Adam rifle around his suitcase, pulling out his gear, and decided to do the same, helping Adam carefully stretch. He still tried to be careful with his quad, even though he’d been told it was one-hundred percent a little while back. He offered the same courtesy to Kota before the two found themselves by the curtain. They were in the middle of the card in a huge number one contenders eight man tag match. He and Kota had racked up enough victories to be a part of it. 

They were apparently the fan favorites to win, but as soon as Adam stepped through the curtain he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He just felt… Off. Thinking about Sara earlier definitely didn’t help, nor did his craving for a strong drink. Miscues, stupid mistakes, and poorly timed rescues saw he and Kota laid out at ringside as another team got the pin. Fuck. Could he do anything right these days? When they got backstage Adam apologized profusely, only for Kota to wave him off and try to calm him as best as he could.

“You aren’t mad?” Kota shook his head, laying down on the ground and closing his eyes, a hand holding the back of his head. "But it's my fault. My head wasn't all there. I was distracted. I made so many dumb mistakes and cost us the match…"

"Page-san," Kota interrupted him a bit firmly. Adam met his understanding gaze, giving a soft laugh.

"Fuck, you're too good to me, you know that?" Kota rolled his eyes affectionately, joining Adam as he chuckled. "I'm sorry about out there. We'll definitely kick their asses next time." Kota nodded in agreement, sitting up and letting out a yawn. Normally the post match adrenaline would have him bouncing off the walls, but tonight he just felt tired, in more ways than one. Adam smirked. "Tired already?"

They went out for a relaxed and easygoing dinner after showering, just enjoying the comfortable atmosphere together as the night went by. One couldn’t go wrong with burgers, fries, and milkshakes. A few fry wars (fry sword fights, flinging them at each other, stealing bits of milkshake via fry) got them an exasperated, but fond look from the waitress, but neither of them noticed through their soft laughter and muffled curses. As they were finishing up their meal Kota got his attention, gesturing to Adam’s phone.

“My phone?” he asked. Kota nodded. “What do you need it for?” Kota held up his own phone in return, holding it up to his ear as if on a call and then pointing to Adam’s phone again. “Call me? Your number! Oh!” Adam unlocked his phone and pulled up his contacts before handing it over to Kota, Kota doing the same for him. “I… You’re not gonna text me in kanji, are you?” Kota laughed softly, shaking his head as they took their phones back. Kota sent a string of emojis (a heart, a wink, and an upside down smiley face) that made Adam almost snort into his milkshake. He sent back a laughing face and a cowboy emoji before putting down money for the bill. “Thank you. For… So much. For listening, for the hugs, just… Being a great friend. It really does mean the world to me.”

Kota grinned, slyly putting his own money on the table and slipping Adam’s back to him in his coat pocket, as they left. He pulled Adam into a huge, bone-crushing hug that had him wincing from the force of it, feebly reciprocating with a strangled chuckle. When they pulled back Kota fumbled around in his pockets for his car keys while Adam tried to catch his breath again. They looked at each other again.

“Be safe, okay?” Kota nodded, gesturing back to him. “I will, I promise.” With one last pair of matching grins they went their separate ways for the night.

XxX

Kenny hummed happily as Kota hugged him from behind, head on his shoulder, pressing soft kisses to his skin and watching Kenny dice vegetables for the homemade ramen they were making. A large pot of stock was heating on the stove. Kenny had a small container of leftover yakisoba sat next to him with a pair of well used chopsticks sticking out of it that he grabbed a bite or two from every now and then. He paused his dicing to carefully feed Kota a bite, unable to hold back his giggle at the delighted noise Kota made when he realized. Kenny then looked over at Adam, who was watching them affectionately, the warmest of smiles on his face.

“You two are too cute, you know that?” Kenny blushed as Kota hummed in agreement, making all three of them chuckle.

“Are you sure you don’t mind cooking? I can set up one of my consoles or you can hang around in one of the rooms if you just want to rest and take it easy. You’re the guest, after all.” Kenny sounded concerned, and it made Adam’s heart ache a little to see him so worried.

“I promise I’m fine. Besides, I feel so rude just sitting around and doing nothing while you guys make delicious food. I wanna help.” Adam was finishing up prepping what looked like it was going to be  **delicious** : baked salmon marinated in a seasoned barbecue mix that Adam refused to reveal the recipe of. He grabbed aluminum foil and a pair of oven mitts as the oven finished preheating with a loud  _ beep! _

Kenny and Kota’s home was warm and welcoming, a mix of western and Japanese furniture and influences scattered about, signs of Kenny and Kota in every room: a picture, ring gear, video game controllers, papers written in a mix of kanji and English, a stray hairbrush, an expensive designer shoe laying about. There were personal touches and signs of vibrant life as far as the eye could see. It was a home built on memories, on good times, shared struggles, heartbreak, reconciliation, and  **_love_ ** . It was a love so strong and deep and tangible that everything weighing on Adam’s mind and heart seemed to disappear as soon as he walked in the front door, an overwhelming aura of peace and comfort and joy engulfing him and setting him at ease.

Kenny slid the vegetables into the now boiling pot, turning the heat down and poking at the pieces of meat and noodles floating around. As much as he loved cooking he was a very impatient cook, and Kota had to remind him, yet again, that good food took a little bit of time.

_ “It won’t cook if you keep glaring and prodding.” _ He gently pulled Kenny’s hand back before covering the pot with a lid, and Kenny sighed overdramatically.

“But I’m hungryyy! I want to eat now!” he whined. Adam tried to cover up a snicker.

“Hey, you and me both, man. As much as I wish this could bake in ten seconds, it’s gonna be a few minutes.” Adam gently slid the foil covered pan into the oven, failing to keep a straight face and hiding his laugh behind a mitt as he closed the oven door. “I’m sorry. That’s  _ adorable _ .”

“It is,” Kota agreed. “ **He** is.” He stole a tender, lingering kiss, letting go of Kenny to cross the room, rummaging through the fridge for something to drink. Kenny stared after him, a little breathless, gaze soft and loving. It took him a few moments to come back to himself, turning towards Adam.

“Um, do you maybe want a tour of the house? If Ibu-tan doesn’t mind watching the food?” Kota peeked his head out of the fridge for a moment to nod, and Kenny led Adam back through the rest of the house. “Okay! Let the tour of the Ibushi-Smith household begin!” Adam barely stifled a laugh at Kenny’s playful words.

From the kitchen, to which a bathroom was attached, one could look out into an expansive living room lined with shelves of awards, magazine specials, show posters, and old titles, a cozy fireplace, a quiet reading nook, an extremely comfortable couch and a pair of loveseats next to a cluttered coffee table and flat screen. It led to a lightly furnished guest room. At the living room end opposite the kitchen was the front door and two sets of stairs, one leading up and the other leading to a basement. Adam followed Kenny up, looking down a long and well lit hallway when they reached the top.

Kenny showed him a game room/study: one side overflowing with figures, collectibles, and posters, and electronics while the other was full of art supplies for painting, drawing, calligraphy, photography, etc. The room after that was curiously empty when Adam peeked in the not quite shut door, and Kenny stopped a few steps ahead, going back to Adam’s side and looking at the room with warmth and a bit of uncertainty in his eyes.

“Ah. That room. We didn’t really know what to do with it when we finally got all of our stuff here, so I suggested we leave it empty until we decide. I… I’ve been thinking about… Maybe making it into a kid’s room. If Kota’s okay with adopting.” Adam looked back to Kenny in pleasant surprise, and Kenny laughed nervously. “Or, if we decide we want biological kids and have the money to get all of that kind of thing done, have someone carry and have them… I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, being home more all the time with a normal job, just imagining a little one or two running around. Not now, and not soon. I still don’t really know what I’m going to do job wise in the long run. But… I can’t get it out of my head.” Kenny finally led Adam to his and Kota’s room, and Adam lingered in the doorway unsurely.

“I…” Kenny saw him linger, smiling gently.

“It’s okay. You can come in.” Adam hesitated for a few more moments before slowly stepping into the room. It was clear whose side was whose. Kota’s side was neat and tidy with the occasional odd thing out of place, name brands galore. Kenny’s side was an organized mess, game disks, even more collectibles, and manga scattered about. There were pictures of them all around as well: from when they were younger, of them around the Bucks, Cody, Nakazawa, and others he didn’t recognize… At their wedding, around beautiful Japan scenery, looking at each other with the most vulnerable and loving of looks… Adam took the entire room in, Kenny watching his reaction.

“This room…”

“It’s a bit overkill, I know. I guess we just… Wanted a few reminders of where we’ve been and what got us here, and then the walls kind of turned into the biggest photo gallery of loving and happy moments, and—

“I love it so much.” Adam whispered, eyes watering, and he laughed at himself for it. Kenny looked to him in confusion. “And I guess that’s really at the center of it all, isn’t it? Love? Since the moment I’ve met you two you’ve been nothing but wonderful to me. You’ve been so caring and kind and loving. You’ve been better friends than I could ever deserve. And that love you have for each other and the people you care about is impossible not to feel in whatever room you walk into, or even this house! As soon as I stepped foot in here I’d never felt more safe and just… I don’t even know how to explain it.”

“What do you mean?” Kenny asked after a moment.

“It was just like… Everything that had ever caused me pain, had ever broken my heart and hurt my feelings, all of that negative, painful emotion just… Didn’t exist for a little while when I walked into the house. I just felt this soul deep contentment and happiness.” Adam shook his head as a tear slid down his cheek, voice shaking a little. “This place feels like a home, a good one, one of the best. And it’s got two of the world’s most amazing people living in it. Two amazing people I’m so lucky to call friends.” Adam laugh-sobbed a little when Kenny threw his arms around him, failing to fight back his own tears. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I keep doing this.”

“Please don’t apologize,” Kenny whispered, neither of them noticing Kota peek in the doorway. “I’m so glad we’ve been able to be that for you, that just being here has that kind of effect on you. And I’m so glad we got to meet you and get to know you.” Adam was hugging him back just as hard, both of them laughing at the state they were in.

“I just… I love both of you. _So, so_ **_much_**.” Adam and Kenny gasped as Kota wrapped his arms around them as well, head resting on Adam’s shoulder.

“And we love you,” Kota told him, Kenny nodding in agreement. Adam let out a sigh of relief, smiling sheepishly. “We don’t deserve you.”

“I… I mean, I don’t know about  **that** .” They all pulled back after that, smiling warmly at each other.

“If it weren’t for you… I would’ve given up on hope. I would’ve just gone through each day on autopilot and tried to blank out and forget as much of that bad time as possible… But you made me realize that the dream wasn’t over, that I could look back and remember… That I could find my purpose again.” Kenny sniffled, letting out a short laugh.

“You were the first new friend I made when we first moved here. You always made sure I was okay when we were on the road together. You talked to me. You trusted me. You helped me understand so much, more than I know how to explain. You were there when we didn’t even know we needed you.”

Kota’s words combined with Kenny’s had rendered Adam speechless, and he couldn’t do much more than grin at how humbling those words were, how much they meant to him. After Sara, he didn’t think he’d find anyone else he could trust on such a deep level, that he could share the ugliest, darkest, and most vulnerable parts of himself with. Then Matt and Nick found him and saved his life. Then he found Kenny and Kota and they’d  **stayed** , even after learning how broken and lost he was, helped him see that it was okay to feel like that and that didn’t have to go through everything alone. And for the first time in a long time he finally felt like he knew what it was he needed to do.

None of them moved for a few moments, not until Kenny leaned over to press a gentle kiss to Adam’s cheek, and Adam blushed furiously, looking to Kenny wide eyed and overjoyed. He knew Kenny was affectionate like that to the Bucks, his best friends, his closest friends. So did that mean… Kenny thought of him as a best friend too? Kenny grinned and Kota chuckled, neither of them missing the happiest look they’d ever seen from Adam, who was still struggling to come up with a verbal response.

“Dinner’s ready,” Kota piped up, and Adam shot him a grateful look as he continued trying to gather his thoughts. Kenny’s face lit up, and Kota and Adam shook their heads fondly at him, the three of them making their way downstairs.

  
  


Closing A/N: Okay. Dinner scene in this NEXT chapter, I promise! I’m sorry if this all reads like such a mess. :(


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

A/N: Dinner scene tiiime! And ACTUAL teaching! Aaand a surprise! That I hope you like. :)

  
  


Virgilina, Virginia

Mid-May

Road to Double Or Nothing 2

“Wow, you guys. This place looks amazing,” Nick whispered as he, Matt, and Cody walked in the front door of Kenny and Kota’s house after being greeted with a bone crushing hug as soon as the door had opened.

The Bucks hadn’t been back since they’d helped the two move in last month, and it was Cody’s first time dropping by. Kenny and Kota had invited the rest of the Elite over for dinner while they were all in the area. There was a bit of clutter around the living room, where they all ended up sitting with their food in tow: a rogue sneaker, a hoodie thrown over the back of a loveseat, a few video game disc jackets, a hairbrush. Kenny went pink with embarrassment.

“Sorry for the mess. I meant to clean up before everyone got here, but…” He went bright red then, a sheepish smile on his face as his gaze went a little distant. “I got a little… Distracted.” The three knew exactly what he meant just by taking in his disheveled curls and the poorly hidden hickies peeking out from under the collar of his shirt. And Kota’s satisfied smirk too, which got a quiet laugh out of Nick.

“Kenny, it’s literally fine. I think what Nick means is that this place… It feels like a real home. It feels lived in and loved in, and that makes us really happy,” Matt told him with a genuine smile. “You had us scared for a long time. It’s just so wonderful to see you smiling again, and so often too.” Nick and Cody nodded in agreement, and Kenny’s smile turned soft and heartwarmed.

“I’m sorry I worried you. I… I wasn’t in a good place. I’m still… Not where I’d like to be, I admit… But I  **do** feel better, being here, physical therapy and all.” Kenny settled against Kota’s side on one of the loveseats while Cody sat in the loveseat across from them and the Bucks took the couch. “It’s still an adjustment from Japan, but… I like it here. It’s the kind of different I needed for a reset.”

The Elite made small talk throughout the meal, talking about everything and nothing in particular, catching up, making ridiculous, awful, jokes, until dinner began to wind down and the conversation was finally steered firmly in the direction of AEW. Kota tensed at the mention of the company, eyes flickering to Kenny to see his body language become a bit stiffer, a bit more withdrawn. He took Kenny’s hand, unable to help the frown he made when Kenny squeezed it tightly. Kota had feared that conversation would turn to AEW. He and Kenny were over the moon at the company’s success in its first year and a half. Kota had actually just signed with them not too long ago. Both of them watched all of the shows and additional content. They supported everyone involved… But Kota knew exactly what the Bucks were going to bring up if they started talking about AEW, and he hated how uncomfortable Kenny had become before the conversation could even really get underway.

“So, Double Or Nothing was AEW’s first official big PPV event as a company. It’s a really special show that’s packed with the highest stakes matches, top of the world performances, you know. This year, we wanted a few huge surprises for the show. One of them is the debut of Ibushi.” Kota grinned, and Kenny smiled excitedly at him. “The second…” Matt paused, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say.

“The second is non-wrestler related. Something that could maybe add to the product in a more… I guess behind the scenes kind of way,” Nick continued for him, both of them beating around the bush with slightly nervous smiles. Kota was shaking his head at them with an expression that left no room for argument or negotiation. The Bucks fell silent, and Cody, not taking the hint or reading the room, took it upon himself to just say it.

“What, like a partnership, or a special event, or something?” Kenny asked.

“We want you to be a part of a storyline. No wrestling or anything. Just being there at the shows, present in some way. Maybe at ringside, or in backstage segments,” Cody told him, and the Bucks and Kota collectively shot death glares his way. Kenny was frozen in shock for a few moments, face a bit pale as he tried to gather his racing thoughts.

“I, heh… Guys, I can’t. I…” He gave a fake laugh and smile, trying to hide his slowly building internal panic. “I’m teaching classes in the fall, and even if it’s only two there are still teacher responsibilities I have to take care of. The traveling, the responsibility, the time and commitment. I’m not even cleared if things get physical and I’m accidentally involved. I’m sorry, but I just can’t.” The Bucks looked ready to drop the issue and change the subject, but Kota knew better. He knew that Cody had a really hard time taking a hint sometimes. So of course he didn’t let it go.

“I mean, I’m sure we could work something out. If you ended up doing everything from home so you could keep your teaching job and still be involved in everything, if anyone can make it work, it’s you. There’s plenty of options we can explore with filming and pretapes…”

“Cody,” Kota cut him off coldly, and no one dared breathe in the next moment as their eyes met from across the room. If looks could kill…

Cody genuinely looked confused about what he did wrong, and while that might normally make Kota sigh and let it go, he refused to drop things until Cody  **apologized** . Kenny had made it clear many, many times after his injury that he wanted to be away from any direct involvement in wrestling, backstage, in ring, or otherwise. He knew the three had meant well, and the Bucks were smart enough to know when to stop, but Cody… Maybe Kota was still harboring the  _ slightest _ hint of bitterness and distrust towards him, but dammit, couldn’t he see how uncomfortable Kenny was?

“I was just…”

“Say. Sorry.” Kota emphasized both words, and Cody gave Kenny a quiet and sincere apology. Kenny waved him off, but Kota could feel him shaking slightly as he pulled him against his chest. Matt and Nick suddenly stood, gathering up their plates and Cody’s.

“Um. Well. It’s getting a bit late, and we did promise to see another friend while we were in the area before we have to fly back to Jacksonville. We didn’t mean to… Overstay our welcome.”

The conversation had been upbeat and happy and pleasant not two minutes ago, and now the air was so full of icy, suffocating tension. Kota did look a little guilty and regretful then. He hadn’t meant to give the impression he was angry with them. Kenny had been so happy that morning when he remembered everyone was coming to visit. He hadn’t spent any extended amounts of time with them in so long. Kota silently cursed himself for his very limited English, calling their names as they turned to drop their dishes off in the kitchen sink and leave. The Bucks paused in between rooms while Cody stopped at the front door.

“Not mad. Just… Worried. About Kenny-tan.” The Bucks looked to him in understanding, wearing sad smiles.

“We know, and I’m sorry we even brought that up after all the times you both told us no.” Matt sighed. “It was really good to see you two again.”

“I miss you guys every day,” Kenny told them, swallowing and taking a deep breath. “And I promise that one day I’ll be able to talk about that again. One day I’ll be able to tell you yes when you ask. Just… It’s still too soon.” He mustered up what he could of a smile. “Be safe, okay?”

“No promises,” Nick replied, as he always did, and Kenny playfully shooed them out the door with a hug before whatever short burst of energy and confidence he’d had evaporated as it shut behind them.

Kota hugged him from behind, firm, but gentle, trying to be comforting. Kenny let out a helpless whimper, melting back into the embrace with tears in his eyes.

_ “I feel like such a failure,” _ he whispered brokenly.  _ “It’s bad enough I’m injured how I am, but just the mention of… Not even competing. Just being near the ring makes me feel…” _ Kenny didn’t even know if a verbal description could do the terrifying, soul chilling feeling justice.  _ “I just fall apart, and it’s like I’m back in Japan, not even having the energy to get out of bed or take care of myself. I don’t want to be that person again.” _ Kota peppered his neck with butterfly kisses, Kenny’s eyes fluttering shut as he responded.

_ “You’re not failing anyone, Kenny-tan. You had your whole world taken away, and the very thought of having it again, having that hope when it was so easy to lose it before…” _

_ “It’s terrifying,”  _ Kenny whispered in confirmation.  _ “I saw the Bucks sort of backpedal when they noticed. Cody… Not so much.” _

_ “He can be almost as oblivious as you sometimes. I don’t know whether that should concern me or make me laugh.” _ Kenny cracked a genuine smile at that.

_ “Yeah. I know he wasn’t trying to be mean…” _ Kota softly kissed his cheek.

_ “Are you okay?” _ Kenny hesitated to answer, trying to process all that he was feeling.

_ “I… Yes, but no? It’s… It’s complicated. I’m not… Upset or anything at anyone. But…” _ Kenny’s eyes were trained on the ground then.  _ “Now my brain won’t stop.” _

_ “Is there anything I can do?” _ Kenny sniffled. Even now Kota was only concerned about how Kenny felt and what Kenny needed. He had the best husband in the world.  **_Husband._ ** God, it felt so good to call him that.

_ “Just… Hold me while we’re bundled up in blankets.” _

_ “It’s about to be summer,” _ Kota laughed, and Kenny stuck his tongue out at him with fake annoyance.

_ “I know! But being a blanket burrito with you sounds wonderful right now.” _ Kota grinned in agreement.

_ “Cuddly blanket burrito it is!” _ Kota declared, hoisting Kenny up into his arms bridal style before he could process what was happening. Kenny looked up at him in loving wonder as Kota carried him up the stairs, finding his mind calm and his heart full as they lay wrapped up together in a mountain of blankets.

XxX

“We don’t really… Have a dinner table or anything. When the rest of the Elite was here last time we had visitors we all kind of just… Sat down in the living room. But if you want to set all the plates and bowls down we could eat at the kitchen island? I know it’s still kind of messy in here from all the cooking, but—

“Kenny,  **breathe** ,” Adam told him with an almost giggle. “I’m fine with sitting wherever. I just don’t want to make a mess.” He helped Kota fix plates and bowls while Kenny grabbed them silverware.

“I… Sorry. It’s just, it’s, it’s been so long since we’ve had company, and I guess we didn’t really think this through.”

“Kenny.” Kenny paused, his hand full of chopsticks and forks. “You guys’ house is amazing. I’m not going to judge you for not having a dining room or a kitchen table. Just being here is more than I could ever ask for.” Kenny blushed, and Kota’s smile was bashful.

_ “There’s more room in the living room than in here, and we can all see each other if we’re on the couches,” _ Kota told Kenny.

“Living room it is!” Kenny declared, drawing laughs out of everyone. Kenny and Kota took the couch, Kenny sighing contently as he wrapped his arms around Kota from behind, just holding him close. Kota chuckled.

“I thought you were excited to eat?” Kenny grinned.

“I am! I’m pretty sure this dinner is Food Wars level of amazing.” He buried his face in Kota’s hair. “But I just… Wanna hold you for a minute… If that’s okay?”

“Always.”

Adam watched Kota melt into Kenny’s chest as Kenny plopped several kisses in his hair with the most loving of gazes. The Golden Lovers shipper in him rejoiced at the sight. He took a bite of ramen, stifling a deep groan at the  **_flavor_ ** . How could food possibly taste this good?! His head fell back against the loveseat and his eyes closed as he took another bite, savoring it. Kenny chuckled softly at him.

“You look like you’re about to jizz your pants. Is it  _ that  _ good?” All Adam could do was open his eyes and nod, taking another enthusiastic bite and prompting Kenny to try some from his own bowl. 

Kenny wasn’t shy at all about making his own thoughts known, a low moan making Kota shoot him a dangerous and heated look, and Adam tried not to choke on his next bite at that. The baked fish went the same way. But when the three weren’t being distracted by delicious food, they were telling their stories, filling in blanks for the others. The atmosphere was never anything less than comfortable and curious, full of wide eyes, dropped jaws, loud, echoey laughs, and soft, sweet smiles.

“Adam… Page, right?” Kenny asked.

The only other Adam he knew because of his unparalleled reputation throughout the country, the world. The most beloved, humble, and talented independent wrestler in the world who refused offers from larger companies because he wanted to work in as many smaller promotions as possible and spread his craft and knowledge everywhere, even if his main allegiance was to ROH. Strong, agile, charming, clever, and absolutely stunning. Quiet, reserved, a bit private with his personal life unless asked about it in interviews. Kind, sweet, caring, and quite the wonderful teacher and friend as well.

Adam talked about the beginning of his career, his struggle to find an identity and a place to belong, his struggle fitting in and being accepted for the longest time. How he’d met the Bucks, his stints in various companies and how ROH had become his home away from home. All the things he’d strived to do before his first really big injury took him out of action last year.

Adam talked about Sara, how things had seemed so nice before they started falling apart. And looking back on it, it had never been the healthiest of relationships, even if nothing had seemed wrong or unfair at the time. He’d done… So much: housework, paperwork, anything that Sara needed. He never asked for anything in return, and maybe he should have. When him doing everything became the norm and it suddenly stopped being that way when they both became busy people… Everything had started to crumble, and neither of them had done what they’d needed to do and addressed the situation before it could get out of hand.

And then he talked about the aftermath. Matt and Nick finding him in a drunken spiral and nursing him back to health, his struggle with drinking and his journey to becoming a teacher again. Balancing teaching and part time wrestling like he had earlier in life. Meeting Kota, and then Kenny. Finding himself here. Kenny and Kota asked him questions throughout about things, stuff that surprised and confused them, things they wanted more detail on.

“I can’t believe the wrestling world’s most universally loved active wrestler is one of my closest friends.” Adam blushed at Kenny’s words, staring down at the plate and bowl he was very tempted to lick clean.

“Is that what people are calling me? Aaahhh…” He shook his head. “I mean, I’m grateful that so many people see me like that… But at the end of the day I’m just an anxious millennial cowboy trying to figure out what’s next for him in life.”

“Well, I think you’re doing a pretty amazing job,” Kenny told him softly.

“We both do,” Kota agreed. Adam caught their eyes and couldn’t help but smile.

“I hope. I’ve got something coming up that I’m… kind of nervous about. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, and I think it’s about time I did it.”

Adam wrapped up his journey thus far before turning his full attention to Kenny, who took a deep breath and started from the beginning: what brought him to wrestling, the early struggles in his career, his time in Japan and on the American indies, his last New Japan run. He talked about the time where he was so sure he was going to give up on wrestling for good, when he and Kota were apart as he joined Bullet Club, his foray into the gaming and fitness worlds, his injury. It was the first time Kenny had been able to talk about everything without fully breaking down, even if he had to pause a few times to take a deep breath and gather his thoughts. He was revealing things from his darker times that even Kota didn’t know about, some things that terrified them and some that made their hearts ache.

  
  
Kenny was so humble, Adam noticed as he asked him things. He wanted so much just to help as many people as he could, spread the word, bring this wonderful and fantastical world of pro wrestling to as many people as possible. He wanted to put smiles on people’s faces. He wanted to Change the World. And his career spoke for itself. Just when Adam thought he couldn’t respect and adore Kenny more.

“I… Still can’t believe I’m talking to Kenny Omega. You…” Adam averted his eyes, sheepish. “I was a bit of a fanboy, to be honest.” Kenny’s eyes went wide.

“Really?” Adam nodded.

“I’ve only really seen what the Bucks showed me, which isn’t a whole lot, but you looked flawless in and out of the ring. I’d only ever heard good things about you. Every time I watched a match or a promo, you were all in and it never felt like anything less than one hundred percent you. Also… You’re hot as hell.” Kenny stumbled over his words for a moment (Adam thought he heard something along the lines of handsome, gorgeous cowboy), Kota snickering at how flustered he seemed.

“I… Wait, if you were a fan, how did you not recognize me? I… I admit I don’t think I’ve seen your work. I could hardly keep up with AEW with my New Japan schedule, much less anything else outside of Japan.”

“My brain thinks blonde curls, leather, Devil’s Sky, bad boy vibes. You’re…” He trailed off.

“I’m…?” Kenny prompted.

“Adorable,” Adam answered. “You’re literally the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. You don’t look like you’d hurt anyone.” Kenny gave a shy laugh.

“I never wanted to give off the impression that I was a tough guy or anything. I know how to fight and defend myself, of course. But I’m only a tough guy in the ring. When I wasn’t at work… I didn’t want to be a tough guy anymore. That’s just not who I am.”

**_“You’re an angel,”_ ** Adam and Kota told him in unison, and Kenny hid his bright red face in his hands with the most embarrassed smile. Adam and Kota shared loving grins.

“How did we get here?” The words came out muffled, but it still made the other two chuckled affectionately at him as he lowered his hands. His expression was soft and indescribably happy. “This… This has been wonderful, being able to get to know each other and talk about everything, having dinner and hanging out.”

“It has. I…”  _ I wish we could do this more often. _ “Can we do this again? Maybe you guys could come to my place every now and then too? It’s not nearly as nice as here, but…”

“Your home is beautiful,” Kenny argued.

“We  **have** to do this again,” Kota replied, and Adam breathed out in relief.

“Definitely!” Kenny looked around the room for a moment, eyes lighting up. Kota cooked an eyebrow in confusion as he saw the gears turning in his husband’s head. “And if you don’t feel like going home yet, we could game for a bit? Or just talk some more? Whatever you feel like doing.” Adam’s heart melted at Kenny’s offer.

He  **hadn’t** wanted to go home yet, afraid he’d get home, go to bed, and realize tonight had been an impossible dream. He still wasn’t convinced this was all real. He thought their mini conversation upstairs was unreal, but this… This was everything he never knew he needed. God, he loved his friends!

“What game did you have in mind?” Kota made a fondly exasperated noise as Adam asked that, and Kenny gave him the most overdramatic fake offended look Adam had ever seen.

_ “What was that, Ibu-tan?” _

_ “I know how you get when you have someone to play against. Should I expect any broken controllers or battered pillows this time?” _

_ “That was once! Once! And you’re still not letting it go?” _

The Japanese went right over his head, but Adam couldn’t help the soft chuckle at their playful bickering. When it looked like Kota might actually throw something at him (in jest and not to harm), Adam gently took Kenny’s hand, drawing his attention, and Kenny grinned, dragging Adam excitedly upstairs. Kota shook his head with a smile as he watched them go before frowning at the dishes scattered about the room, then the stack in the kitchen. Well, he didn’t have anything else to do at the moment.

XxX

Kenny walked along the desks of his classroom the following Wednesday, peering at the work of his Japanese students. It was a kanji writing day, and he’d encouraged his students to write whatever they felt comfortable with. Grammar and sentence structure were their own kind of beast, but for the most part everyone had demonstrated that they understood the basics. He found himself at one of the back corners of the room when he stopped, seeing one of his faster learning students struggling. She tended to catch on pretty quickly to most things, but kanji had been something she’d struggled with all semester.

He pulled up a chair next to her desk, and she looked up with a frustrated expression on her face. The room was full of idle, quiet chatter, the crunching of snacks, and the scratching of pencils on paper, an easygoing air about the room. He smiled softly.

“Everything alright, Laurie? You look like you’re having some trouble.” Laurie sighed, briefly hiding her face in the desk before responding.

“I don’t usually have trouble with things, but for some reason I just… Can’t wrap my head around this.” Kenny looked at her notebook, seeing different kanji in various states of completion, some recognizable and others… A good attempt.

“Mmm… Tell you what. Pick something to write for me, and I’ll see if I can see where you’re having the most trouble. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated.” She nodded, thinking for a moment before putting pencil to paper. She wrote the kanji for book, and it didn’t look too bad! But… “Okay. Not bad! Write it again, slower, and let me show you what you can improve.” She started it again, and Kenny stopped her at the third stroke. “Aha! Okay, so when you’re writing, you want your stroke order to go from top to bottom and left to right. You were about to do this…” Kenny plucked a pencil out from behind his ear and imitated what she’d done so far. “You were doing the bottom stroke next instead of…?”

“The… Left one up here?”

“Right! So…” He wrote the first three strokes of the word correctly. “It should look like this so far. Think you can finish it off?” She wrote the last two strokes. “Good! Okay, one more time from the top.” He had her apply the same small changes to other kanji on her paper, until she was stringing together short phrases and sentences.

“So… The wrong stroke order can really mess with your writing?”

“Yep! Especially on the more complex kanji. If you start in the wrong place or do it out of order it’ll be a mess.” He looked over her paper again. “Hey, that looks really good!”

Class continued as it normally did, and when the bell rang to signal the end of the day Kenny couldn’t help but be absolutely giddy. It was Wednesday, and you know what that means. AEW: Dynamite. Kota was on in the main event: the world traveled veteran fighting through the roster and testing his mettle against rising stars and other seasoned wrestlers in his quest to prove his worth to the wider American audience. And a fight to the AEW World Championship, currently held by Eddie Kingston, who had been insufferable ever since prying the belt out of Jon Moxley’s hands in the most brutal match he’d seen in some time. And the Bucks had texted him on his way home that there was a  **huge** surprise tonight to close out the show. That alone had Kenny practically falling off the edge of the couch when he settled in for the show that night.

  
  
Adam said he’d be on the road for the latter half of the week, so they couldn’t watch the show together like they had been for a little while. He watched tag teams do things that put his junior days to shame and made him miss the feeling of a hot tag and tandem offense. He watched a few of his old rivals and friends put on absolute clinics. He watched the women, who were slowly getting more screen time as the weeks went by, steal the show and bring the crowd to their feet. He heard quick witted, confident words on the mic, watched a few tremendous promo packages and vignettes. And then it was main event time before he knew it. The shows almost always flew by like that.

  
  
The Butcher was out first, Blade and Eddie accompanying him at ringside. The crowd were less than pleased. Then Kota’s music hit, and Kenny was sure he felt the roof blow off the stadium from there. There was so much cheering, so many smiles and happy faces, and he felt himself tearing up a bit. Kota had been so worried when he first signed with AEW that the audience might not take to him. But they’d been captivated the moment he’d walked out from behind the curtain, and to see the love of his life get that sort of reception every show made his heart happy beyond words. He watched with the biggest grin on his face as Kota made his way to the ring, focused, determined, and practically buzzing with energy.

The match was grueling. Kota had the speed advantage, but Butcher’s clubbing blows always slowed him down before he could pick up too much momentum. Of course, a few swift kicks and strikes from Kota sent Butcher crashing to the mat in a heap, and some absolutely devastating power moves got him a near fall. The Butcher managed to find an opening when he got his wind back, and an exchange of blows, as well as a nasty looking collision on the outside left both men staring up at the ceiling on the concrete.

“Come on, Ibu! You’ve got this, babe!” Kenny was leaning towards the tv, looking as if the slightest nudge would have him falling to the floor.

Occasional cheapshots from the Blade kept the tables turned in favor of the Butcher, but one V-trigger gave Kota the moment he needed to set up the Kamigoye for a three count. Kenny was sure his neighbors could hear his cheering all across the city. He was smiling so wide that it hurt! Of course, that was when Blade and Eddie decided to rush the ring, and while Kota gave as good as he got, the exhaustion of the match and the numbers game had him shielding himself the best he could from the blows raining down on him. Kenny hated it. He hated not being able to be there for him. He’d be cheering him on at ringside and immediately at his side as soon as the bell rang at the end of the match. He wished he could be there to help!

And then.  **Then.**

  
  
Music he’d never heard before echoed throughout the arena and  **_Adam_ ** was sprinting to the ring with the most pissed off expression Kenny had ever seen. And the shock of seeing him had Kenny tumbling over the back of the couch with an undignified squeak as he practically jumped out of his seat. When he recovered enough to pull himself to his feet he watched Adam fly gracefully around the ring with equal amounts of power and speed, and Kenny swore that his  **_beautiful_ ** running shooting star press defied gravity. Eddie and the Butcher and the Blade were scrambling up the ramp with furious expressions on their faces as Adam turned to Kota and helped him up. Kota grinned at him excitedly as Adam grabbed a mic, having to pause and take in the chants of “Cowboy shit!” currently drowning out all other noise with a bashful laugh.

  
  
“I, uh. I know I’m kind of new around here, but I hope you know that if you’ve got a problem with Ibushi? You’ve got a problem with  **me** . This ain’t my first rodeo with people like you and it won’t be my last. So what do say you face us in a match next week so I can show you just who the fuck I am?” The crowd seemed to love that idea, but they loved Adam’s next one even more. “And when we’re through with you two?” He pointed at Eddie with a determined scowl. “I’m coming for  **that** .” The show ended with the heels fuming at the top of the ramp before stomping off to the back while Adam and Kota briefly hugged in the ring.

And Kenny was  **ecstatic** .


End file.
